NEVER ENDING STORY CHAPTER 3

Title: The Dance of Love
Author: MorganaAuthor’s Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.comWeb page: http://www.paranoid.nl/avalon
Pairings; Alexander/Hephaestion and Alexander/Hephaestion/Bagoas
Overall rating: NC-17Summary: A police officer, university professor, and an orphan find they have more in common than they ever thought possible.
Disclaimer: These characters aren’t mine. I have taken the characters mainly from the movie ‘Alexander’. The three characters described in this story look like Oliver Stone’s character so imagine Farrell, Leto, and Bosch whenever I speak of Alexander, Hephaestion, and Bagoas.
Warning: This is probably the AU from Hell, but my Hephaestion muse nagged me about it all night long.
Note: This is a strange story, set in our time, but don’t worry, we will also see the characters we love so much.
Additional note regarding Bagoas' age. When I wrote his character I pictured him at age 19, maybe even 20. So if you wondered about this age that might clarify things.
Beta read by DA, thanks!
All remaining mistakes are mine.

The Dance of Love

Bagoas continued to improve during the next week and slowly became used to having either Alexander or Hephaestion at his side. He began to feel comfortable in their presence and easily established his relationship with Alexander all over again. The trust and affection that been there during their first life returned, strengthening their current relationship. Things weren’t as easy between Hephaestion and him though, and Bagoas was very much aware of his self-doubt and self-loathing which he now used to keep the older man at a distance. He wasn’t doing it on purpose; he simply didn’t know how to act around Hephaestion when the older man acted so caring and inviting.

“Bagoas?” Alexander seated himself next to Bagoas on the couch in the living room. Bagoas was getting better and most of the bruises were fading. The ribs, however, continued to hamper Bagoas and their healing would take longer. Luckily, Bagoas had started to eat again and Alexander thought the younger man had already put on some weight. “I need to drive into town and I won’t be back until tomorrow eve. I will leave you in Hephaestion’s capable hands.”

“You are leaving?” Bagoas’ bottom lip twitched. Why couldn’t it be the other way around? Why couldn’t Hephaestion go into town and Alexander stay with him? His eyes narrowed as he wondered on if they were doing this on purpose, forcing him and Hephaestion to spend even more time together. In spite of his promises to let them have their chance to show them how much they loved him, he remained wary of Hephaestion’s attempts. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Hephaestion; he just didn’t feel worthy of the older man’s attention. Not after the way he had treated Hephaestion in their first life. “Must you go?”

“Yes, we need certain things. You need clothes, Peritas needs dog food and I need some new books.” Alexander’s fingers glided through Bagoas’ long mane which once more shone jet black. Bagoas was recovering, but the younger man was still far from healed. “Hephaestion will take good care of you, Bagoas.”

Bagoas looked about to make certain that Hephaestion wasn’t around and then said, “I am trying, Alexander. I really am. But I don’t know how to act around him.”

Alexander nodded his head once. “I have noticed that and so has Hephaestion. Bagoas, this takes time.”

“Is that why you are going away?”

“Partly,” Alexander admitted, smiling. “But I also need to buy this stuff.”

“I will be good,” Bagoas agreed in a child-like voice. “It is just… I don’t think…”

Hearing the self-doubt in Bagoas’ voice made Alexander lean in closer and he brushed the younger man’s lips. “Trust me… being loved by Hephaestion is easy. Just stop fighting him.”

Bagoas’ cheeks grew flushed and he quickly averted his gaze. “It is easy for you because he is supposed to love you. It is different for me. He isn’t supposed to love me.”

Alexander realized that carrying on this conversation was useless as long as Bagoas was convinced that he didn’t deserve being loved. A smile stole onto his features and he fingered a strand of Bagoas’ raven hair. Maybe he should stay away a little longer. That way Hephaestion would get his chance to get close to Bagoas. “I am not going to argue with you, Bagoas.” His smile turned into a full-sized smirk. “Had I still been King you would not have dared to contradict me, would you?”

His comment made Bagoas smile in turn. “You are right.” But Alexander was no longer his King. Only the ruler of his heart. It had taken him some time to realize that he wasn’t a slave any more, and he still slipped at times, thinking about himself in that way. Alexander’s lips suddenly sought out his in a passionate kiss and Bagoas whimpered, greedily wanting more, but then the blond man pulled back, deserting his lips. “Hurry back.”

Alexander grinned. “Hephaestion said exactly the same thing.” He didn’t want to leave them alone, but knew he had to. It might be the best way for them to form a relationship.

~~~

“I made dinner.” Hephaestion carried a tray over to the coffee table and set it down. Bagoas had rested on the couch for most of the day and Hephaestion had been under the impression that the younger man was asleep, but he was wrong: the eyes were open and alert. “How do you feel? Still sore?”

Bagoas sat up straight and stared at the tray Hephaestion now placed on his lap. The plate contained meat, vegetables, potatoes, and even dessert in the shape of ice cream. “You didn’t have to do this.” His stomach growled and he picked up the fork. Bagoas started to eat, making it a point not to look at Hephaestion as he sat down next to him, nursing and sipping his black coffee.

Hephaestion ignored the remark, as he had heard it before. Bagoas had a tendency to neglect his needs, especially when it was Hephaestion looking after him. “Try to eat it all.”

Bagoas reluctantly nodded his head and continued to eat. Hephaestion reached for the remote control and switched on the television. After doing some channel hopping, Hephaestion settled for watching a documentary on Discovery Channel. Hephaestion raised his legs, rested his feet on the coffee table, and continued to sip his coffee. Hephaestion’s calm threw Bagoas even more off balance. He just didn’t understand how Hephaestion could act this comfortable around him when he himself felt so anxious. Trying to do away with the silence, which felt uncomfortable to him, he said, “You are a good cook. This is very tasty.” He couldn’t make a mistake by paying Hephaestion a compliment, could he?

“Thank you.” Hephaestion finally cast a look at the younger man. Bagoas immediately averted his eyes to prevent making eye contact and Hephaestion sighed softly. He hadn’t thought that gaining Bagoas’ trust would be so hard. /No, it isn’t that he doesn’t trust me… He doesn’t trust himself with me./

Bagoas finished his meal; he had managed to empty his plate. Hephaestion collected the tray and returned it to the kitchen. A moment later, he seated himself on the couch again and studied Bagoas’ eyes, which were fastened on the screen. “Are you tired, Bagoas?” He thought he saw fatigue in the dark eyes.

Bagoas nodded once, not trusting his voice to sound steady. Being in such close proximity to Hephaestion without Alexander close made him shy.

“Why don’t you lie down again?” Hephaestion hoped Bagoas would accept this invitation, and yes, the eyes shyly locked with his. “Lie down, Bagoas.” He petted his lap, indicating Bagoas should rest his head there.

Bagoas swallowed hard as his nervousness increased. Hephaestion was a riddle to him, one which he failed to figure out.

“Bagoas?” Growing worried now that Bagoas was blankly staring at him, Hephaestion took charge and gently pulled Bagoas down until the other man’s head rested on his lap.

Now that he no longer had a choice, Bagoas curled up on the couch and flinched, feeling Hephaestion’s fingers tenderly stroke his hair. Alexander liked to caress his hair, to run his fingers through the strands, but this wasn’t Alexander. This was Hephaestion! “I don’t understand,” he admitted eventually with a trembling voice.

“Give it time and you will,” Hephaestion promised, having long realized that he wouldn’t get through to Bagoas with mere words. He had to show his intentions through touch and deeds.

Bagoas tried to follow the program on television, but eating the large meal had made him drowsy and his eyes began to close. Hephaestion kept up the soothing strokes in his hair and Bagoas finally grew relaxed beneath the caress, relaxed enough to doze off.

~~~

“It is time to go to bed,” Hephaestion announced. He had grown tired himself, being stuck on the couch with Bagoas sprawled on his lap. “Bagoas, wake up…” But Bagoas, deeply asleep, didn’t wake, and Hephaestion had no other choice but to lift the younger man and carry him into the bedroom. Hephaestion placed Bagoas, who was only wearing a morning robe, on the bed. He turned down the covers, stripped down, and slipped into a t-shirt, knowing Bagoas wasn’t comfortable with having him naked in bed with him. He had seen the suspicious look in those brown eyes. Hephaestion stretched out next to Bagoas and the younger man moved closer to him. He wrapped his arms around Bagoas’ form and draped one leg possessively across the younger man’s hip, pulling him even closer. Tangled up like that, Hephaestion joined Bagoas in sleep.

~~~

Bagoas nuzzled the warm skin and drew in the other man’s scent. His eyes opened abruptly, realizing it wasn’t Alexander’s scent he was inhaling: it was Hephaestion’s. The older man had wrapped himself around him during the night and Bagoas felt at a loss, looking at the warm, welcoming expression on Hephaestion’s face. Even in his sleep, the other man appeared to smile.

/I don’t understand any of this. I don’t understand him. Why is Hephaestion doing this?/ Bagoas blinked. /He told me to stop living in the past and I did that./ He was even growing used to calling him Hephaestion instead of addressing him in a formal way. /But that doesn’t change what I am. I am a whore./ In his first life, he had been castrated and made into a eunuch, but back then he had first served Darius and then Alexander. He had figured he hadn’t done so badly after all, serving those two Great Kings. He had received a proper education from Oromedon and his Kings had bestowed gifts upon him. The best gift he had received had come from Alexander. Alexander had really loved him.

But the things that had happened in his current life had affected him more. He had felt much more degraded and humiliated being sold off to a brothel. There had been no Kings to serve in this life. No gifts, no one to love him. He felt more of a whore today than he had in his first life.

“You are brooding,” Hephaestion stated, though he kept his eyes closed. “It is much too early to worry, Bagoas.” Even with his eyes closed, he could tell that the sun hadn’t risen yet, for it was still cool in the room. “Go back to sleep, Bagoas.”

“I can’t,” Bagoas whispered in an apologetic voice. “I want to, but I can’t.”

Hephaestion finally opened his eyes and quickly searched Bagoas’ gaze before the younger man had a chance to lower it. “Why don’t you confide in me? I know I am not Alexander, but I want to be there for you in that way.” Would Bagoas take this step or continue to shut him out?

Bagoas considered Hephaestion’s request. “I want to trust you,” he said, eventually, timidly maintaining eye contact through long eye lashes. “It is not your fault I act in this way.”

“Why are you acting in this way?” Hephaestion took to soothingly rubbing Bagoas’ shoulders, massaging the tense muscles there.

Bagoas moistened his lips and forced himself to continue to look into Hephaestion’s eyes. “Maybe I am afraid to believe you are for real.”

Hephaestion frowned. “Would you care to explain that?”

“I understand why Alexander accepts me back into his life. He loves me and maybe he feels some measure of responsibility for me – for what happened to me in this life. But I don’t understand why you are reaching out to me. Maybe out of pity?” Bagoas trembled, wondering why Hephaestion’s touch felt so good, so comforting. “I am a whore, Hephaestion.” Speaking the other man’s name increased his trembling. “You were a General once. You accomplished things in this life time as well. And what did I do?”

“Bagoas, you were forced into prostitution! You were raped and forced to work in that brothel!” Hephaestion placed the palm of his hand against Bagoas’ cheek and his fingers rubbed the soft skin. “You are the victim here.”

Bagoas shrugged. “I have been thinking about this and I have come to believe that this is my punishment for hating you in my first life. I deserve what happened to me.” Hephaestion’s eyes widened and Bagoas wondered why. “It is the truth.”

“By Zeus!” Hephaestion stared at Bagoas. “Did you convince yourself you deserve to be punished?” Speechless, he shook his head.

“It makes sense.” Bagoas’ mouth had gone dry and he averted his gaze, unable to bear the pity he saw in Hephaestion’s sparkling eyes.

“Oh no!” Hephaestion had found his voice again and spoke rapidly. “You can’t believe that! Oh, Bagoas, you aren’t being punished for envying me in the past!”

“That is what you say, but I know better.” Bagoas felt the urge to free himself of Hephaestion’s soothing touches, but was unable to pull away. A part of him craved being touched in such a tender and accepting way. He craved having Hephaestion’s love, acceptance, and approval, but he simply couldn’t bring himself to admit that. Hating himself was so much easier.

Hephaestion released a deep sigh. Convincing Bagoas of his love and affection proved much harder than he had originally thought. “Bagoas, you suffered an unjust and cruel fate in your first life. Had Alexander or I been around, we would have stopped them from cutting you and selling you into slavery.” Bagoas’ eyes widened and Hephaestion continued now that he had the younger man’s attention. “The fate you suffered in your current life is unjust and cruel as well and I will do everything I can to make you happy – to convince you that you deserve better – that you deserve Alexander’s love as well as mine.”

Tremors shook Bagoas and he met Hephaestion’s gaze again, needing to see the expression in those amazing eyes. Honesty and sincerity he read in those blue lights. Hephaestion was telling him the truth.

“I would gladly kill the men who did this to you. I would travel to Athens to rip out their throats, if such an action wouldn’t endanger you. I would be drawing attention to you and I don’t want that. I want you to live a life in peace and happiness.”

“Rip out their throats?” Hephaestion’s determination stunned Bagoas.

“That would be going easy on them. If it were up to me they would suffer horribly before ending their lives and I know Alexander feels exactly the same way. We would be honored to avenge you, but we can’t do so because we are afraid of endangering you. By not acting on our vindictive feelings we hope they will forget about you and leave you alone.”

Hephaestion’s speech and, even more so, his vicious tone surprised Bagoas. “You really care about me…” That realization only hit him now, upending his world and making his head spin.

Hephaestion smiled at Bagoas. “How can you doubt that I care about you? I always did. Do you really think I would have gone back to fetch you when I didn’t care? Alexander was too drained to notice you gone from his troop, but I did and I ventured into that desert to find you. I was so afraid I would come too late and find you dead. I wanted to hug you close when I found you. I wanted to kiss you and rock you. You looked so close to death and I was so afraid we would lose you.”

“I thought you had come to punish me for thinking about poisoning you,” Bagoas admitted, caught off guard by Hephaestion’s tone and confession. “But then you allowed me to drink and I realized you had come to rescue me.”

Hephaestion caressed Bagoas’ face, affectionately stroking the facial skin. “I said that I had come for you because I needed you to look after Alexander in my stead, and that was true – but that was only part of it. I needed you safe as well. Alexander loves you and… I could not help but love you as well.” Hephaestion sucked in his breath, seeing the expression in the dark eyes change and soften. Was he finally getting through to Bagoas? “I would have reached out to you a long time ago if you hadn’t looked at me with such hatred in your eyes.”

“I no longer hate you,” Bagoas whispered in a guilty voice. “I should not have hated you back then either. I was wrong to hate you – to be so jealous of you, but…” He grew silent now that Hephaestion was pressing a finger against his lips. If only his jealousy hadn’t consumed him in the past! Then he might have seen the affection in those sparkling, blue eyes, but he had been blinded. Cautiously, he raised his right hand and placed its palm against Hephaestion’s face, touching the older man gently for the very first time. He felt nervous, reaching out in this way.

Hephaestion kept himself motionless, thrilled to feel Bagoas touch him. He didn’t dare to move, afraid he might scare the younger man off again. He gave Bagoas a warm smile and leaned into the touch, rubbing his cheek against the exploring fingers. “I like that.”

Bagoas’ heart missed a beat, seeing the adoring expression in Hephaestion’s eyes. Alexander had always reminded him of a tiger, pacing and stalking, waiting for the exact moment to jump his enemy. Alexander’s administrations had been gentle, but at times they had also been forceful and commanding. Hephaestion was different though. Looking into the big, blue eyes, Bagoas thought he was looking at the King of all animals, the lion. Hephaestion possessed qualities Alexander lacked. There was dignity and understanding in those radiant eyes and Bagoas swallowed hard, finally realizing that Hephaestion had always been the strong one and not Alexander, as he had always thought. “I like touching you,” Bagoas whispered. He still felt so insecure that the sound of his own voice startled him.

“You should touch me more often.” Hephaestion continued to rub his cheek against Bagoas’ hand and he even purred, trying to show his approval.

Hearing Hephaestion purr made Bagoas hard. He had never thought that this strong, muscular man would be like this between the sheets. But then again, he had never given Hephaestion’s behavior in bed much thought to begin with. “I am not sure I can…” But he was hard, painfully hard, and he couldn’t remember the last time that had happened. He had never grown erect when he had been with a customer.

“May I?” Hephaestion wiggled an eyebrow and gave Bagoas a trusting look. “I won’t do anything you aren’t ready for. I promise.” He hoped Bagoas would accept his offer. He wanted them to move on.

Bagoas swallowed, nervously. “Hephaestion, I…” Oh, he wanted this. He wanted to be touched in love! But why did it have to be Hephaestion? Why not Alexander? He didn’t feel so shy around Alexander!

Hephaestion read the real answer in Bagoas’ eyes. “I will be very careful with you, Bagoas. You can trust me.” His hands slipped into the raven hair and massaged the scalp. “I will never hurt you, Bagoas. Never!”

The determination that echoed in that last word was Bagoas’ undoing and he shakily nodded his head. “Do as you please.”

“Oh no… Tell me what you want, what you need.” Hephaestion caressed Bagoas’ ears, let his fingers slide down the elegant curve and tugged playfully at an earlobe. “I want to please you, Bagoas.”

Bagoas closed his eyes, sighing in bliss. “I want to feel good,” he admitted, caught off-guard.

“I think I can do that.” Hephaestion, resting on his side, continued to caress Bagoas’ face and ears and then leaned in closer to kiss the younger man’s lips. It was a tender kiss as Hephaestion remembered the split lip and bruises Bagoas had so recently suffered. “Does this make you feel good?” He acted very slowly now, very carefully so as not to startle Bagoas and began to pull the younger man atop of him.

“Yes, it does.” Bagoas blinked, suddenly finding himself straddling Hephaestion. But the other man didn’t give him much time to ponder his situation as large hands gently guided his head down, closer to Hephaestion’s lips and then the kisses started all over again.

Hephaestion’s hands traveled down Bagoas’ neck, pushed the fabric of the morning robe aside and let it pool around the younger man’s waist. “You are beautiful, Bagoas.” He whispered the words into Bagoas’ mouth and felt the younger man quiver beneath his touch. The dark eyes still shone with insecurity and uncertainty, but Hephaestion realized that Bagoas was giving him the chance he had asked for and he was determined not to disappoint his new lover. “I won’t betray your trust, Bagoas.”

Bagoas’ bottom lip trembled, showing his nervousness. “I don’t know what has come over me. I know what to do, but…” Lessons, taught to him by Oromedon, showed him what to do, how to please Hephaestion, but he couldn’t bring himself to put them into practice.

“Just let it happen.” Hephaestion placed one hand at the back of Bagoas’ neck and pulled the younger man close so they could resume their kissing. His other hand traveled down Bagoas’ spine, rubbing his lover’s back. “Just allow for it to happen.”

Bagoas whimpered, hearing the soft, caring tone in Hephaestion’s voice. /He really cares about me… Why was I so blind? Oh…/ His worries and self-doubt faded the moment Hephaestion’s fingers curled around his erection. He gave the older man a questioning smile, never expecting Hephaestion to stimulate him that directly. “Hephaestion…” he panted the name before he closed his eyes and thrust into the other man’s hand.

Hephaestion’s eyes sparkled with admiration and affection. “Just let go, Bagoas. Enjoy this.” He stroked Bagoas’ erection firmly and continued to kiss him, allowing Bagoas’ tongue into his mouth and challenging it to a duel.

Bagoas rocked atop of Hephaestion, experiencing sensations he had never felt before. His body was ready to burst with pleasure and he whipped his hips forward, thrusting into Hephaestion’s hand. “Please…”

Hephaestion deepened their kiss and one more firm stroke of his hand sent Bagoas over the edge. He held the younger man close, feeling him quiver beneath his touch. Hot cream splashed onto his hand and Hephaestion buried Bagoas in a tight hug.

Bagoas in turn clung to Hephaestion. Ecstasy coursed through his body and his semen dripped from the purple head, slowly covering Hephaestion’s hand.

“I guess that answers the one question I was afraid to ask you.” Hephaestion stroked Bagoas’ back. “I don’t know why, but I was afraid you…” Oh, how to phrase this tactfully? “I was afraid you couldn’t perform.”

“No one castrated me in this life and for that, I am grateful.” Bagoas closed his eyes and inhaled Hephaestion’s musky scent. Close to his lips rose an erect nipple from Hephaestion’s chest and the sight of it made him smile. Slowly, he rubbed the hard nub, teasing it with his thumb. “Thank you.”

Hephaestion bit back a groan now that Bagoas was playing with his nipple. He was hard himself, but had decided to ignore his arousal. Bagoas’ needs came first right now and he didn’t want his new lover to think that he had to pleasure him in turn. “I should clean you up.” He wrapped his arms around Bagoas’ waist and rolled the younger man onto his back. “Stay here and don’t move.” He didn’t want to leave their warm bed, but he wanted to do this for Bagoas.

“You don’t have to! I can... I am the one who should clean up this mess! Not you!” He was the slave and Hephaestion… /No, I am not. I am not a slave any more!/ But cleaning up after making love had always been his job. Having Hephaestion attend to him in such a way felt uncomfortable. He watched big-eyed as Hephaestion left the bed and disappeared into the bathroom.

Hephaestion had taken him by surprise and only now did he realize that he hadn’t offered to bring the other man to orgasm in turn. During both his lives, his ‘teachers’ had taught him to always put the ‘customer’ first. It was unheard of to want pleasure for himself and to leave his partner unfulfilled. But Hephaestion hadn’t even hinted that he wanted to be brought to orgasm!

“Why are you brooding now?” Hephaestion had returned from the bathroom, carrying a wet wash cloth and a towel. He seated himself on the bed and gently pushed the fabric of Bagoas’ morning robe out of the way.

“I didn’t… I mean… Are you hard?” Bagoas’ stare was directed at Hephaestion’s groin and the bulge located there. “Do you want me…? I can…” Wet cloth moved against his skin and he choked back the rest of his words.

“This is about you, Bagoas. Don’t worry about me.” Hephaestion frowned, seeing something unusual. “Bagoas, how did you get these?” He disposed of the wash cloth and inched closer. His fingertips moved gently over the scrotum, touching the velvet-like sac. “Are these scars?”

“I was born with these marks.” How could he have forgotten about them? Now that he thought about those marks, he realized what they were – reminders of the scars the men had left behind who had castrated him over two thousand years ago. “I never made the connection before.”

Hephaestion drew in a deep breath. “You don’t know how relieved I am that you didn’t suffer the same fate in this life as you did two millennia ago. I was scared to ask you if they had…”

“No, they didn’t… I am… whole,” Bagoas said, after searching for the right word and only coming up with that one. And then Hephaestion did something that made his heart momentarily stop beating. The older man bent forward, nuzzled his groin and then kissed first one testicle and then the other, his lips gently brushing the skin of his sac. “Why did you do that?” The gesture, the intimacy, and the affection in that caress had touched his heart, leaving him panting and trembling.

“Because…” Hephaestion frowned, trying to find the right words. “Maybe I wanted to take away some of your pain.”

A lump consisting of fierce emotions constricted Bagoas’ throat. “That was…” That had been an incredibly sweet thing to say and to do. Taking the initiative, Bagoas pulled Hephaestion down and, ignoring the fact that he was as good as naked, snuggled up to him. Hephaestion’s strong arms wrapped around him and Bagoas sighed in bliss. “Alexander said that being loved by you was easy… He was right.” And he had learned another valuable lesson as well – loving Hephaestion was just as easy.

Part 2


Hephaestion remained in bed a little longer than he normally would. Bagoas had fallen asleep again after their sexual encounter and he enjoyed holding the younger man close. Looking at Bagoas’ face, which was relaxed in slumber, he couldn’t help but worry for the other man. He couldn’t quite explain why he felt this concerned, but something had set off his alarms. Maybe it had been the guilty expression in those dark eyes when Bagoas had offered to bring him to orgasm.

How badly had Bagoas been damaged in this lifetime? Hephaestion knew what had happened to Bagoas in both his lives, but not how deeply it had injured Bagoas. He realized he had to be extremely careful where any intimacy was concerned. Bagoas had acted surprised, no stunned, that Hephaestion had made him the center of attention. It had always been the other way around – maybe even with Alexander as well.

Hephaestion had never been raped – had never been forced to pleasure someone so it was hard for him to understand the lasting effects of being used in such a way on Bagoas. How would Bagoas react the moment he was placed on the receiving end? Would he expect pain? Would he show his feelings, his fear? And even more importantly, would he tell them that he might not want to be on the bottom?

Hephaestion had always understood Bagoas better than Alexander had. Alexander had never realized that Bagoas’ passionate response to him had been ingrained in him from his childhood. Bagoas had been trained to respond in that way, even when his instincts would have told him to run instead. /Only time will tell,/ Hephaestion thought, holding Bagoas in his arms for as long as the other man’s sleep lasted.

~~~

Bagoas felt warm and safe in these strong arms circling his waist and holding him close. This time he instantly recognized the man’s scent. Hephaestion was holding him and not Alexander. Only a few days ago he would have panicked, but Hephaestion being so gentle and loving during their sexual encounter had taken away some of his apprehension and insecurity.

Opening his eyes, he looked into Hephaestion’s azure ones and for one moment he felt it was like looking into the immeasurable depths of the sea. “Good morning,” Bagoas forced out. Butterflies tickled his insides and he grew flustered, remembering the beautiful things Hephaestion had said and done after the other man had brought him to orgasm.

“Good morning to you too.” Hephaestion gave Bagoas his most charming smile. “Did you sleep well?”

“I did more than just sleep and you know it.” Bagoas’ eyes widened as he heard himself say such an inappropriate thing. What possessed him to say something that cocky?

“Yes, we did more than just sleep and I wanted to thank you for trusting me. That must have been hard on you.”

“Not as hard as I thought it would.” Alexander had been right all along; it was easy to be loved by Hephaestion and he was beginning to return the other man’s feelings. Waking up in such an intimate setting also reminded him that he had left Hephaestion’s needs unfulfilled and that he should make up for it. Rubbing his thigh against Hephaestion’s groin, he whispered, “You are hard.” A part of him didn’t want to act in this way – didn’t want to degrade himself and suffer that pain again – but another part insisted he owed Hephaestion for making him feel in such a wonderful way. These two parts were at war with each other and he felt adrift on his emotions. “I should take care of that.”

Hephaestion grew alert, seeing the troubled expression in Bagoas’ dark eyes. Fear shone back at him. “Bagoas…”

Bagoas swallowed hard, trying to rid himself of his dread. He didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to be torn again, but… Bagoas pushed himself onto his hands and knees, bowed his head, and presented himself to the older man. He didn’t speak a word as his throat contracted with trepidation. The last time someone had taken him the man had left him torn and bleeding.

Hephaestion remained calm. “What are you doing, Bagoas?” He moved onto his knees and cupped Bagoas’ face between his hands, forcing the younger man to look at him. The terror that stared back at him from those dark eyes made his heart miss a beat. Bagoas expected to be hurt. /He expects *me* to hurt him! How can he think I would hurt him?/

“Don’t you want to fuck me now?” Tears dripped from Bagoas’ face and onto the sheet. His fingers clawed at the material and tore the fabric.

Hephaestion’s eyes filled with sympathy and understanding. He had half expected something like this to happen and felt strangely prepared to deal with the scared man. “No, I don’t. I will never ‘fuck’ you, Bagoas. If we ever decide to take that step, we will make love.”

Slowly, like he was dealing with a frightened animal, Hephaestion folded his arms around Bagoas’ waist and lowered the younger man back onto the bed. Bagoas instantly curled up on his side and Hephaestion guided the dark head onto his lap, once more gently stroking the raven mane. “You no longer live that life, Bagoas. No one will ever hurt you again. I promise.” Hephaestion leaned in closer and placed a chaste kiss on Bagoas’ brow.

His dark eyes had filled with tears and they continued to flow down his cheeks. His fingers hadn’t relaxed and still clawed at the sheet. He pulled his knees close to his chest and sobbed softly. “I don’t understand.”

“I think you do,” Hephaestion whispered, maintaining the gentle stroking of Bagoas’ hair. “But you are afraid to believe it is for real. You have been in pain for a very long time and you cannot believe that things have changed.” Hephaestion’s heart ached for the younger man. “If I could I would take away your pain, but I can’t. All I can do is protect you and love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

“I deserve to be loved?”

The pleading expression in Bagoas’ eyes made Hephaestion’s water in turn. “Of course you deserve to be loved!” He understood why Bagoas was acting in this way, but had no solution for their problem. Only time would heal Bagoas’ wounds.

Bagoas closed his eyes and continued to cry for long minutes. Eventually he calmed down and became aware of Hephaestion’s fingers moving through his hair. “You refused me.” That thought stunned him. He had never thought Hephaestion would pass up the chance to claim him. That realization allowed a small seed of hope to blossom inside him.

“When we do make love I want it to be because you desire me and not because you were taught to offer yourself in that way. I want your love, Bagoas. Not your body.” Hephaestion’s hands trembled while caressing the black strands of hair. Seeing Bagoas offer himself in such a way had unsettled him. /I need to discuss this with Alexander./ He couldn’t take the risk that Alexander would make the mistake of seeing Bagoas’ surrender as passion.

Bagoas slowly raised his head and sat up because he wanted to search Hephaestion’s eyes. At first, he didn’t think he could bear feeling Hephaestion’s gaze on him, but after gathering his courage, he looked into the swimming eyes. /Swimming? He is close to shedding tears too. Why is that?/

“My heart aches for what was done to you, Bagoas. Please try to understand that you no longer have to live that life or act the part. You can be yourself now.” Hephaestion hoped the smile he was giving Bagoas would reassure the younger man. “You don’t have to do anything against your will. Your days of being helpless are over.”

Bagoas could only stare at Hephaestion, absorbing those words with a desperate need. “Is that the truth?” The mere thought of never having to endure such invasive pain again made his heart feel lighter.

Hephaestion’s heart contracted painfully, hearing the child-like tone. “Yes, it is.” He hugged Bagoas close and held him, even rocking him slightly when he felt Bagoas shake himself to pieces. “Your old life is over. You have started a new one: One without pain.”

Bagoas wanted to believe that. He really did…

~~~

“Hungry?” Hephaestion scrapped the omelet onto Bagoas’ plate and gave the younger man a thoughtful look. Bagoas had taken a shower and his hair was still slightly damp, clinging to his face. Acting without thinking first, he reached out to brush the wet strands away from Bagoas’ face and was completely taken aback when Bagoas flinched away from him. “What?” What had happened just now?

“Please don’t take it personally,” Bagoas said in a voice that was barely more than a whisper. “I reacted instinctively.” He used his long hair to hide behind, letting it fall in front of his face.

Hephaestion sat down, feeling sick to the stomach. He should have known that Bagoas had been hit, but until now, that fact had never really registered. “I will never hit you.”

“I know that.” Bagoas cringed; he hated himself for the way he had pulled back when Hephaestion had only wanted to brush away his hair. “It was nothing but a reflex. I know you won’t hit me.” He finally found the courage to raise his eyes and look at Hephaestion. “I learned to react before…”

“Before they struck,” Hephaestion drew in a deep breath as he needed to calm himself. “Will you tell me what happened?”

Bagoas shrugged his shoulders once. “There isn’t much to tell. They hit me to make me pliant.”

Hephaestion’s rage simmered dangerously. He would love to hurt these men who had done so much damage to Bagoas! “May I?” Determined to not let Bagoas feel guilty about reacting in that way, Hephaestion slowly raised his right hand and moved it toward Bagoas’ face. The dark eyes remained trained on his and he smiled, trying to reassure the younger man. He could tell that Bagoas fought the urge to back away from him, but the younger man eventually managed to stay in place and Bagoas closed his eyes the moment he tucked the damp strands behind an ear. “I will never hurt you.”

Bagoas didn’t want to cry again. Why were his emotions so close to the surface? So overwhelming? He had never been this emotional before! “When I was in that brothel I never cried.”

Hephaestion nodded his head once and let his fingertips trail along Bagoas’ jaw line. “You had to be strong back then. You don’t have to be strong right now. I will catch you if you should fall. You are safe here.”

Tremors shook Bagoas’ frame and, unable to suppress his feelings any longer, more tears surfaced in the dark eyes. They slid down the soft cheeks and Hephaestion caught some of them on his fingertips. Bagoas wanted to be held, to be hugged, and Hephaestion seemed to understand that, for a moment later he found himself crushed to the older man’s chest and he rested his head on Hephaestion’s shoulder, weeping once more. “I don’t want to be like this!”

“I expected this,” Hephaestion admitted. “It is good to let it all out, Bagoas. It will help you heal.”

“Why do you still want me around when I can’t even let you fuck me? Why would you…?” Bagoas failed to finish his sentence as Hephaestion placed a finger beneath his chin, making him look into the azure eyes. “What is my use? My worth, when…”

“Don’t say it!” Hephaestion wanted to glare at Bagoas, but didn’t, not wanting to upset the younger man further. “I know they probably told you – and taught you – that all a man wants is to use your body. That isn’t true, Bagoas. You are precious to me and to Alexander for other reasons.” Bagoas momentarily stopped breathing and listened to every word he said. Hephaestion used that to his advantage. “You are a gentle, kind, and loving person, Bagoas. They lied when they told you that your only worth is in being on your back or on all fours. They used and manipulated you and, deep down inside of you, you know they lied. You are afraid, Bagoas, and even that is understandable. You are afraid to find that they wrecked so many years of your life when you could have spent them being loved instead.”

Bagoas drew in a shaky breath and searched Hephaestion’s eyes. They looked back at him with honesty and love, unbalancing him even further. “How can you still touch me knowing what they did to me?”

“Oh, Bagoas!” Hephaestion hugged Bagoas even closer, rocking him, and allowing the younger man to weep in his arms. “Give yourself time to allow the changes to take place in your life. You will understand eventually. Just accept that Alexander and I love you.”

“Hephaestion is right, you know.” Alexander, who had returned early because he had been worried about Bagoas, stood in the doorway and had overheard most of their conversation. Hearing Hephaestion speak had also shown Alexander the mistakes he had made in the past and he felt guilty for abusing Bagoas’ love for him. But, that was something he would address later, when Bagoas and he had some privacy.

Startled, Bagoas lifted his head from Hephaestion’s shoulder, and looked into Alexander’s worried eyes. “I didn’t want you to hear that.”

“But I did.” Alexander walked over to them and pulled up a chair close to Bagoas. Looking at Hephaestion holding Bagoas, he gave his lover a grateful look for being there for Bagoas when the younger man had needed the support the most. He gathered Bagoas’ hand in his and pressed a kiss onto the palm.

The sweet kiss briefly confused Bagoas, who stopped sobbing. “Why did you do that?”

Alexander repeated the loving gesture and also placed a kiss on the inside of Bagoas’ wrist. “I am not as wise as Hephaestion, Bagoas. I made my share of mistakes in the past and we will address them in due time – when you feel stronger and more balanced. But, I need to tell you – right here and now – that I will always be there for you. I will always be your friend and, if you desire so, your lover.” Alexander caught Hephaestion’s warning look and realized he had to pace himself. He was merely confusing Bagoas further. What if Bagoas thought his words implied he expected certain ‘services’ from the younger man? That had not been his intention. “I love you,” he added, smiling and twining his fingers around Bagoas’.

“You have our support and love,” Hephaestion added, seeing uncertainty in Bagoas’ eyes. “That does not mean you have to do anything against your will in order to keep them. Our love is unconditional.” The look Bagoas gave him convinced Hephaestion he had only managed to confuse the younger man further. Maybe he needed to be more direct, no matter how much he hated phrasing things so bluntly. “You don’t have to let us fuck you in order to have our love and support. You don’t have to ‘pay’ us in that way.” The way Bagoas had offered himself earlier was still vivid in his mind. “We love you for who you are.”

Bagoas frowned, deeply troubled. “But how can you love me for who I am when I don’t know who I am myself?”
Hephaestion had no answer to that question – no words what so ever – and did the only thing he could: he hugged Bagoas and gave Alexander a look that said, ‘Complete the embrace’.

Reading Hephaestion’s eyes correctly, Alexander wrapped his arms around them and held them close. His mind still reeled from what he had learned. How could he have been so arrogant in his first life? How could he not have noticed the pain Bagoas had been in? He had been an inattentive lover and was determined to do better this time around.

~~~

“Did you buy these clothes for me?” Bagoas frowned and looked questioningly at Alexander, who was in the process of placing jeans, sweaters, and shirts into the closet.

“We can’t have you walk around naked.” Alexander wiggled an eyebrow and, although he wasn’t certain how Bagoas would react to his teasing, he went ahead and said it anyway. “Although, I wouldn’t mind seeing you in the nude all day long.” To his surprise, Bagoas grew flustered, averted his gaze, and shuffled his feet. “Here, slip into these.” He handed Bagoas some faded jeans and a black shirt.

Bagoas bit his bottom lip. He didn’t know how to accept such generosity now that Alexander had made it clear that he didn’t expect anything in return. He actually felt guilty for being unable to show his thankfulness in *that* way; it was the only way he knew how to show his appreciation. “Thank you,” Bagoas mumbled instead, quickly slipping into the jeans and shirt. “They fit.”

Alexander gave Bagoas a pleased smile. He loved the way those faded jeans hugged Bagoas’ boyish form. He stopped himself from drooling before he could grow aroused and handed Bagoas a small package. “I bought you a present.”

Bagoas’ eyes revealed surprise. He was already grateful for the clothes and Alexander had bought him something else as well?

Alexander noticed the way Bagoas’ hands trembled when they removed the gift wrap around the box, but didn’t mention it and gave Bagoas all the time and space he needed to grow accustomed to his new life.

Bagoas swallowed hard, feeling strangely vulnerable in front of Alexander now that the other man was looking at him with expectation in his eyes. He finally did away with the wrapping paper and his lips curled into a smile. “Thank you.” He had opened the box and in it he found several vials filled with scented bath oils.

“You seemed fond of using them in the past.” Alexander gave Bagoas a smile. “I recall a time when you tried to make me smell of roses, daffodils, and all kind of flowers.”

“You didn’t particularly like that.” Bagoas, feeling touched and grateful, let his fingers slide down the glass vials.

“I hope you will enjoy their fragrances. Just don’t turn into a prune.” Alexander grinned.

Bagoas’ bottom lip trembled, unaccustomed as he was to receiving such attentive gifts. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Saying thank you is more than enough.” Alexander took a step forward and smiled warmly. “I wouldn’t mind a kiss though.”

Bagoas didn’t have to consider that request for long. He had never kissed his customers; that was something they hadn’t desired from him. They had wanted to feel his lips someplace else and kissing was still new to Bagoas. He leaned in closer and touched his lips to Alexander in a tentative kiss.

Alexander told himself not to act hastily or greedily and simply accepted the shy kiss Bagoas was giving him. He wrapped his arms around Bagoas the moment the younger man ended the kiss and rested his face against Bagoas’ chest. He swore he felt Bagoas’ heart beat race beneath his skin and he waited for the younger man to calm down again.

Looking up into the dark eyes, Alexander read surprise and insecurity in them. /He still thinks I will make him pleasure me./ Hephaestion’s words had been a revelation to him and had made him realize his past mistakes. Bagoas had been trained to pleasure him and he had never really considered the younger man’s feelings when Bagoas had served him. He had simply taken what the eunuch had offered back then. But things were different now.

“Do you feel up for a walk?” Alexander wrapped his fingers around Bagoas’ digits and took a step away from the younger man, returning his personal freedom to Bagoas.

Bagoas nodded his head once. Hephaestion chose that moment to enter his bedroom, accompanied by a tail-wagging Peritas.

“Are we ready to go?” Hephaestion inquired. He didn’t know what had happened just now, but saw the lingering confusion in Bagoas’ eyes. Had the younger just had another revelation?

“Yes, we are ready.” Alexander kept his fingers curled around Bagoas’ right hand and gently pulled him along.

Bagoas eagerly complied, looking forward to spending time with the two men who had upended his life.

~~~

They sat down in the shade of a large tree. Alexander played fetch with Peritas and the elderly dog did his best to return the piece of wood Alexander had thrown away. Hephaestion sat with his back against the tree and watched Bagoas closely as the younger man settled down beside him, always maintaining some distance.

Hephaestion didn’t pretend he knew the emotional turmoil Bagoas was in, for he could never understand the full extent of the younger man’s confusion, but still he tried. He had always been the more emphatic one and his empathy had allowed him to understand Alexander’s needs before his lover realized he had them himself. He now used that character trait to his advantage where Bagoas was concerned.

Bagoas sensed Hephaestion’s eyes upon him and wondered why the older man was looking at him. Looking into the large, blue eyes, something inside him softened and he gravitated toward Hephaestion, moving into the strong arms when they opened in welcome. He rested his upper body against Hephaestion and closed his eyes in bliss, enjoying the other man’s presence. The concept of not having to ‘pay them back’ for the tender, loving care they were bestowing on him took some time getting used to. He had always been around people who were looking for their personal profit. The idea that they loved him unconditionally was an alien notion and still confused him.

Alexander smiled, seeing Bagoas cuddle up to Hephaestion. In their first life, Bagoas had been drawn toward Alexander and had hated Hephaestion with a passion, but that had changed and Alexander understood only too well why Bagoas now favored Hephaestion. Hephaestion was the more social, more emphatic of the two of them and it was only natural that Bagoas felt safer with Hephaestion. He didn’t begrudge Bagoas his comfort and sprawled on the grass near their feet, enjoying the feeling of the warm sunbeams on his face. “Life is good.”

And for the first time in his life, Bagoas agreed. Yes, life *was* good.

~~~

That evening, Alexander decided to try some new recipes and prepared a voluptuous meal. Bagoas ate until he was stuffed and then shook his head at Alexander when the blond man tried to convince him to eat some ice cream as well. “I am about to explode.” He would grow fat if Alexander continued to cook like that! Unbidden, his old fear resurfaced, reminding him that eunuchs tended to grow fat and that he shouldn’t have indulged in that way. /Wait, I am not a eunuch anymore./ But that behavior had been a part of him for the largest section of his first life and wouldn’t completely leave him alone.

Grinning like a cat, Alexander proceeded to feed the ice cream to Hephaestion, who made quite a show of licking the spoon clean. Alexander’s grin faded and made way for a hungry expression with which he practically devoured his lover. “Must you tease me in that way?” He still hadn’t figured out how to behave around Bagoas as he didn’t want to embarrass the younger man.

Hephaestion, however, had very distinct ideas about acting out their need with Bagoas present. One of his first steps would be showing Bagoas that there would be no pressure on him to participate whatsoever. “My Alexander, do you like that?” His tongue slid against the metal, licking the spoon although no ice cream clung to it.

“Oh, the things you do to me.” Although he hadn’t wanted to grow aroused, Hephaestion’s little demonstration had made him hard with need and Alexander could think of nothing else except burying himself in his lover’s body.

Bagoas watched them with a mixture of bewilderment and amusement. He didn’t know what his role was supposed to be in their play and kept his distance, not wanting to make mistakes.

“Do you want me, my Alexander?” Hephaestion cocked his head and gave Alexander a wicked grin. “Are you thinking about taking me right here? Right now? Maybe bending me over the table? Or lowering me onto it on my back?” Hephaestion made a point of giving Bagoas one quick look and he smiled at the younger man, adding a wink to the mix.

Bagoas’ nerves calmed and he returned the smile. It appeared they didn’t require any of his services and that realization made him feel more at ease. He even grew curious, wondering how Alexander would take Hephaestion. He had seen them entangled once before and his groin tightened, thinking of them in that way.

Alexander suddenly hesitated and tried to look at Bagoas to find out how the younger man was reacting to his teasing, but Hephaestion’s hands settled on either side of his face and made certain his gaze remained trained on his lover’s face. Trusting Hephaestion’s judgment, he stopped trying to peek at Bagoas and searched the azure eyes, finding it hard to believe what he read in those pools of blue. “You want to do this now?” He hadn’t thought Hephaestion would want to do this in Bagoas’ presence. /Or does he think watching us will be a good thing for Bagoas? What does Hephaestion know that I don’t?/ Oh, he had given up on trying to understand Hephaestion’s motives for doing things *his* way a long time ago and simply accepted that his lover probably knew best what to do and what not to do.

“Lube, Alexander? Do you have any?” Hephaestion laughed, warmly, seeing Alexander blink. Dazed, the brown eyes searched the room and Alexander raced into the bathroom to get the lubricant. Hephaestion chose that moment to smile at Bagoas. “Don’t feel uncomfortable, Bagoas. I think you might learn a thing or two by watching us.”

“But I already know…” Bagoas stopped talking, realizing what Hephaestion was trying to tell him. He had wanted to tell Hephaestion that he knew all there was to know about sex, but then realized that Hephaestion wanted him to learn about making love instead. “I will watch,” he amended with a slight chuckle to his voice.

“Good.” Hephaestion rose from his chair and unzipped his jeans. “I want you to know that making love will make you feel good. This isn’t about pain, Bagoas.” He desperately wanted to prove that to the younger man, whose eyes were still haunted with painful memories. “Watch and learn.” Hephaestion had just stepped out of his jeans and underwear when Alexander appeared at his side again, proudly presenting the lubricant to him. Hephaestion fought the urge to laugh and pet Alexander’s head like he petted Peritas’ whenever the dog carried out an order.

Alexander grinned, sheepishly, seeing Hephaestion’s gaze drop to his groin. Sometime during his return back from the bathroom he had managed to unbutton his trousers and they now pooled around his feet.

“It is a miracle you didn’t trip, Alexander.” Hephaestion licked his lips, trying to get a reaction out of Alexander and he didn’t have to wait long.

“Stop teasing me, Hephaestion!” Now that passion had taken over, Alexander lost some of his self-consciousness and found it easier to react to Hephaestion while Bagoas was watching them with interest. He wanted to engage the younger man in their love making, but one look from Hephaestion told him not to try that. Hephaestion suddenly leaned in closer and Alexander’s skin tingled now that his lover’s breath caressed his throat.

“Be gentle with me, Alexander, but also firm. Bagoas needs to see you confident and able. In time, he will place his body and his trust in your hands, but first you need to prove yourself to him.” Hephaestion allowed Alexander to push his hands underneath his buttocks and trembled with desire feeling those strong hands squeeze his firm flesh.

Alexander attached his lips to Hephaestion’s throat and suckled the skin there. “Move a little to the right.”

Hephaestion complied and suddenly his world spun as Alexander lifted him in order to place him on the dinner table. Alexander eased him down onto his back and his legs traveled upward and came to rest on his lover’s shoulder. Hephaestion closed his eyes in bliss and quivered, feeling a slick finger tease against his opening. “Yes…” he purred, already raising his hips in welcome.

Bagoas could only stare at the wanton display of lust. Hephaestion seemed eager to receive Alexander and that fact stunned him. Whenever he had been on the bottom he had been in pain and he had never wanted to feel another man’s cock inside him. It simply hurt too much!

“Hephaestion, I…” Alexander panted rapidly. “I am not sure I can…” He needed to feel Hephaestion so badly and, although he had wanted to prepare his lover carefully, his need now overwhelmed him. He quickly coated his erection with the lubricant and pressed against the opening to his lover’s body. “Hephaestion, look at me.” He needed to see the need, passion, and rapture in those eyes!

Hephaestion’s gaze locked with Alexander’s and encountered raw need in the brown eyes, which simmered golden now that his lover was in the thralls of his lust. “Have me, my Alexander.” Hephaestion had also momentarily forgotten about Bagoas. His whole world existed of Alexander, his lover’s cock, and the feeling of being opened up.

Alexander sheathed himself in a firm stroke and threw back his head once Hephaestion’s tight glove wrapped around him. “No matter how many times I take you, you are always so tight, my love.” He placed his hands on Hephaestion’s thighs, enjoying the play of muscle and strength beneath his fingertips. Hephaestion’s breathing came in gasps and he could tell that his lover was already close to finding release. “Not yet, my love. Not yet.” Remaining motionless took most of his discipline, but he waited until he felt Hephaestion’s passage loosen around him. “Are you ready?”

Hephaestion bit down on his bottom lip, drawing a droplet of blood. “Always… Take me, my Alexander…”

Bagoas stared in bewilderment at Hephaestion, who met Alexander’s first thrust by raising his hips. Alexander was buried to the balls inside Hephaestion and Bagoas blinked, wondering why Hephaestion wasn’t crying out in pain. The only sounds that left Hephaestion’s lips were pleas for more and moans.

Alexander indulged his lover and took Hephaestion with deep, slow thrusts. He took his time making love to Hephaestion, enjoying seeing his lover at his mercy. With each thrust his love for Hephaestion grew and passion was driving him out of his mind. He wanted to possess as much of Hephaestion as he could and curled his fingers around his lover’s leaking shaft. Stroking the hard flesh, he pulled out completely and then thrust back inside, drilling himself into Hephaestion’s body. In the back of his mind he remembered Hephaestion telling him to make love gently, but lust and passion had taken over and he took Hephaestion with an insane need he had seldom felt before. He couldn’t remember ever possessing Hephaestion with such force before, but his lover gave as good as he got, meeting each thrust with one of his own.

Was Hephaestion such a good actor that he was able to play this part so convincingly? Bagoas felt confused; Hephaestion should be in unbearable pain, much like he had been when a customer had raped him, but the azure eyes glowed with warmth and love for Alexander.

Hephaestion, more sensing Bagoas’ confusion than anything else, turned his head and looked into the haunted, brown eyes. “Would you kiss me?” It was his first step to engaging Bagoas in their love play – a first and rather innocent step.

Bagoas had grown curious and leaned in closer to study Hephaestion’s body language. Hephaestion was hard and pre-ejaculate dripped from the head, making it easier for Alexander to stroke the hard flesh. “How can you enjoy this?”

Hephaestion groaned; one of Alexander’s thrust had forcefully hit his prostate and he trembled over his entire body as he fought reaching orgasm just yet, but the continuing pounding and rubbing of the sensitive gland was quickly pushing him toward his climax. “You have no idea…” He raised a hand and his fingers tangled in Bagoas’ hair. Bagoas’ lips now hovered close to his and he hungrily arched upward, catching them in a passionate kiss.

Seeing them kiss was too much for Alexander, who climaxed the moment their lips touched. He squeezed his lover’s thighs, buried himself as deep as he could, and released his seed deep inside Hephaestion’s body.

Hephaestion moaned pitifully, feeling Alexander’s release. “Please,” he whispered against Bagoas’ lips, but the plea wasn’t directed at Bagoas. It was meant for Alexander and his lover understood, increasing the speed and force of his strokes and bringing Hephaestion to orgasm by pumping his cock.

Hephaestion’s body tensed and he sucked on Bagoas’ tongue, experiencing one of the strongest orgasms in his life. He refused to let go of Bagoas’ lips just yet and kissed him passionately.

Alexander carried out a few more thrusts, but his member was already softening and he was forced to pull out. A sense of immense loss moved through him now that the connection between their bodies was severed, but he comforted himself with the thought that a part of him remained inside Hephaestion. His seed had found its way into Hephaestion and he had marked his lover in the most passionate way possible.

Hephaestion lay back, panting, and finally released Bagoas’ lips from his crushing kiss. For one moment, he entertained the thought of inviting Bagoas to take him as well, but the expression in the hooded, dark eyes told him it was much too soon to make such an offer. Bagoas wasn’t ready for something like that. “Did you enjoy watching us?” he asked instead, hoping to get a positive answer.

Bagoas exchanged a quick look with Alexander, who was in the process of guiding Hephaestion back onto his feet again. “I don’t know how to answer that one.”

“Then give it some thought while we shower.” Hephaestion pressed a playful kiss onto the tip of Bagoas’ nose and followed Alexander toward the bathroom. He hadn’t planned on ‘demonstrating making love’ in front of Bagoas, but the need to feel Alexander in that way had overwhelmed him – like it so often did. “I hope we didn’t shock him.”

Alexander turned on the shower and quickly shrugged off his shirt. He waited for Hephaestion to join him in the shower cabin and took hold of the soap. “Turn around,” he instructed and began to wash Hephaestion’s back. “Do you think I came on too strong? You asked me to be gentle and instead…”

Hephaestion turned around and looked admiringly at Alexander’s naked body. Droplets of water hugged the firm flesh and he willed himself not to grow aroused again. “I hope he understood why that happened. I hope he sensed our love.”

Alexander turned around and enjoyed having his back scrubbed by Hephaestion. The water washed away the last remnants of their lovemaking and his heart beat began to slow down. “I never thought he would be like this… Back then…”

“Back then he reacted to your touch because he was trained to do so. Alexander, this is the real Bagoas you are facing. Win his trust. You already have his love. Help him heal. He loves you best.” Hephaestion didn’t expect to see Alexander look at him from over his shoulder with such bemusement in his eyes. “What?”

“I have watched him, Hephaestion. He is also fond of you.” Alexander cocked his head, turned around, and let his fingers glide into the dark, auburn mane. “I think he is beginning to understand why I love you the way I do. He finally sees what a wonderful person you are and that is why I think it will be *you* who will help him heal.” Hephaestion’s gentle disposition, his loving nature, and the desire to care for Bagoas would eventually bridge the emotional distance. “And I don’t mind. I love seeing the two of you together.”

But Hephaestion remained unconvinced. “You are wrong, Alexander. He loves you, not me.”

Alexander remained silent. He had seen the expression in Bagoas’ eyes when the younger man had looked at Hephaestion. “We will find out,” he whispered, eventually.

~~~

Bagoas sat down on his chair again. His head spun with sensual images. Hephaestion had looked enraptured and had been eager to be on the receiving end. That fact mystified him; he had only known pain in the past.

Bagoas had much to think about.

~~~

That evening, Alexander convinced them to watch a movie and they settled down on the couch in front of the television. While the movie captivated Alexander’s attention, Bagoas’ thoughts were elsewhere. In sharp contrast with the last time they had sat on the couch, it was Hephaestion who had stretched out, resting his head in Bagoas’ lap. At first, Bagoas hadn’t known how to react, but it hadn’t taken him long to start stroking the auburn hair. Alexander had never been much of a mystery to him. Alexander had been the Great King, his leader and the man he loved. But Hephaestion was nothing like he had thought he was. He had misjudged the auburn-haired man in the past and was only now really getting to know him. Hephaestion’s actions, the man’s words, and eyes were getting to him. If he didn’t know any better, he would say he was falling in love with Hephaestion.

But that, of course, was nonsense. In his first life he had fallen in love with Alexander and in his second, he had never fallen in love in the first place. But, what then was the nature of these strange feelings which took possession of him whenever he looked into Hephaestion’s azure eyes? It couldn’t be love… It couldn’t be!

Part 3

Alexander watched Bagoas closely, keeping one eye on the movie and the other on the dark-haired man. Hephaestion had fallen asleep some time ago and Alexander smiled smugly at having exhausted his lover. Bagoas, however, didn’t look too awake either and so he suggested, “Why don’t you and Hephaestion turn in for the night? I will join you once the movie is done.” It was also his way of giving them some privacy, a moment alone to exchange thoughts or feelings if they desired so for he had figured out his role in this threesome. For now, he would keep his distance where Bagoas was concerned and allow Hephaestion to take the lead. His lover was much better suited to help Bagoas heal.

Alexander’s voice startled Bagoas, who had been focused on feeling Hephaestion’s hair between his fingertips. “What?”

“Come on, I will help you move him into bed.” Alexander was about to get up from his chair when Hephaestion stirred.

“I can walk, Alexander.”

“I thought you were asleep,” Alexander offered, apologetically.

“I was… Until you started to speak.” Hephaestion pushed himself into an upright position. His hooded eyes were unfocused and still heavily clouded with sleep. “Bed sounds perfect.”

Bagoas swallowed hard and gathered his courage. “Maybe I can help?” In his first life he had waited on Alexander and doing the same thing for Hephaestion seemed only appropriate.

“I would like that.” Hephaestion pushed himself to his feet and leaned against Bagoas who now stood beside him. Together, the two men started their way to the bedroom, but then Bagoas came to an abrupt stop.

“Which room?” Bagoas asked, feeling uncertain. Did Hephaestion want to sleep in the spare bedroom with him or in the bed he shared with Alexander?

Hephaestion sensed Bagoas’ insecurity, his hopes, and his doubts and steered the younger man into the room he shared with Alexander. “This is the biggest bed.”

Alexander, still seated, chuckled as he heard Hephaestion’s comment. He would watch the rest of the movie and, once there was no more noise coming from the bedroom, he would join them, protectively wrap himself around them, and watch them sleep.

~~~

Bagoas felt shy once more, watching Hephaestion struggle to remove the shirt and the jeans he was wearing. “Can I help?”

“Buttons are refusing to cooperate,” Hephaestion mumbled in a sleepy voice.

Bagoas’ fingers trembled unbuttoning the shirt and sliding the material down the muscular shoulders. Hephaestion’s bulky form should have intimidated him, but it didn’t. Instead, it reminded him of how safe he had felt being held close in those strong arms.

Hephaestion managed to step out of his jeans and fell backwards onto the bed. He rolled onto his side and then cast a fuzzy look at Bagoas. “Aren’t you going to join me?” His arms felt empty now that no one was in them.

Bagoas’ bottom lip trembled as he removed his jeans. He briefly considered also doing away with his T-shirt, but for some reason he didn’t want to feel that naked, that exposed, just yet. He slipped between the covers and straight into Hephaestion’s arms.

Even in his sleepy state Hephaestion felt that something was amiss, and when his fingers encountered fabric, he realized that Bagoas didn’t feel as comfortable as he had hoped the younger man would. But then again, the fact that Bagoas *was* snuggling up to him showed that the other man *did* trust him. That had to be enough.

“Sleep tight, Bagoas.” He pulled Bagoas even closer, wrapped his arms around the narrow waist and guided the dark head against a shoulder. “Love holding you…” Hephaestion whispered, already dozing off. Alexander had exhausted him, but it was a good kind of exhaustion and he gladly surrendered to the world of dreams.

Bagoas didn’t fall asleep that fast, that easily. His mind was still in turmoil. Two aspects of his being were in constant war with each other and while they fought, he couldn’t get any rest. There was the first Bagoas, the eunuch who had found some measure of delight and satisfaction in being first Darius and then Alexander’s favorite. This was the boy who had learned how to please his owner and who even took some pride in making them climax. This boy had shoved his pain into the back of his mind, never allowing it to surface. And then there was the present Bagoas, a young man who had been hurt countless times, been raped, and who feared intimate contact. This Bagoas was terrified of being touched, of being taken.

These two aspects of his personality were at war with each other and the first Bagoas was screaming inside his head to finally start acting his part and take pride in being Alexander’s whore and now maybe even Hephaestion’s.

/But I want more!/ screamed the second Bagoas. /I want to be loved! I am more than just a body! Hephaestion said so!/

/You know what you are!/ the first Bagoas replied in a venomous voice. /You are a whore, their whore!/

/But I don’t want to be a whore! Hephaestion said that…/

/Hephaestion spoke out of pity! Why do you think they are keeping you around? In the end, they will possess you! Why not use that knowledge to your advantage and seduce them? Start with Hephaestion! He is easiest to seduce as he has never been inside of you. You know he wants you!/

“Stop it!” Bagoas’ face contorted and tears left his eyes. He couldn’t take any more of the screaming! Why couldn’t they leave him alone?

Alexander, who had heard Bagoas call out, stepped into the bedroom. At first, he thought Hephaestion had everything covered as his lover was holding Bagoas, but then he realized that Hephaestion was sound asleep and hadn’t heard Bagoas’ cry. Oh, he wasn’t the right person to deal with an emotional outburst! At times, Alexander felt emotionally handicapped himself and it was only due to Hephaestion’s loving nature that he had managed to deal with his own shortcomings. But Hephaestion was asleep and didn’t appear to be waking up shortly. So, Alexander drew in a deep breath and walked over to the bed, sitting down on the side. His large hand came to rest on Bagoas’ back and he rubbed the tense muscles, drawing soothing circles on the skin. “Did you have a bad dream, Bagoas?”
Bagoas trembled. He hadn’t expected Alexander to seek him out in order to talk to him. “It is nothing.” The touch slightly unnerved him as he couldn’t see Alexander. His back was toward the blond man and he had no way of knowing what Alexander intended to do next. He remembered being in similar situations before – men had approached him from behind and had then taken him. They had raped him and the pain had been excruciating. Merely remembering the agony he had been in back then made him tremble now.

Alexander blinked. “I don’t believe you.” Bagoas’ voice had possessed an uncanny edge, worrying him further. “Can you turn onto your other side? I would like to see your face when I am talking to you.” Feeling Bagoas tremble beneath his touch, he was tempted to stop the caress, but at the same time he didn’t want to give in to Bagoas’ fears. The younger man had to be shown that he could trust them and Alexander couldn’t prove himself if he constantly avoided dealing with Bagoas’ issues.

Bagoas drew in a deep breath. He really didn’t want to do this, but a part of him, the older part of him, couldn’t simply dismiss his King’s order and so he turned in Hephaestion’s embrace until he finally faced Alexander. “It is nothing,” he repeated, eager to convince Alexander to leave. Alexander had stopped rubbing his back, but the fingers returned to caress his face. The touch made him shiver, but not out of fear. He remembered nights, many centuries ago, when Alexander had also caressed his face and had held him through the night.

Alexander had always been good to him. The Great King had never forced him to do anything against his will, but then again, he had been taught to anticipate his master’s needs and had always read them from Alexander’s eyes and carried them out. Alexander had never had to force him as he had pleasured him out of his own free will.

“I still don’t believe that.” Alexander took to stroking Bagoas’ hair, mirroring a caress he had seen Hephaestion bestow on the younger man. “You can always talk to me.”

“No, I can’t… You are… You are the King.” Bagoas flinched, seeing the pained expression in Alexander’s eyes. At the moment, the old Bagoas was the strongest personality and he lowered his gaze, recalling how inappropriate it was to look directly at his master.

“The past haunts you. I see it in your eyes. Do you want to talk to me about it?” Making this offer was a huge step for Alexander who, at times, didn’t even know how to deal with his own emotions. Hephaestion had always been the stabilizing factor in his life. Hephaestion had always known how to handle his emotions and had guided him. This was new territory to Alexander and he felt nervous, trying to confront Bagoas’ fears. He hoped he didn’t accidentally make things worse. “I can listen.”

Bagoas’ trembling intensified and he continued to avoid looking at Alexander. “I would rather not talk to you.” Hearing Alexander’s sigh made him feel guilty and he met Alexander’s gaze after all. “It has nothing to do with you. I just can’t discuss this right now.”

Alexander accepted Bagoas’ decision; what else could he do? He didn’t want to force the younger man in to anything. “Would you like for me to join you in bed? I would like to hold you.” He wouldn’t proceed without Bagoas’ permission. Bagoas unexpectedly gave him a weak smile and seeing the affection in the dark eyes warmed his heart. “You still love me a little bit, don’t you?” Alexander pushed down the covers and slipped into bed fully dressed. He draped one arm across Bagoas’ waist and his fingers made contact with Hephaestion’s hip.

“I do.” Bagoas had grown flustered, hearing Alexander’s question. “I love you, Alexander.” His eyes widened now that Alexander softly chuckled. What had he done?

“I always loved the way you would say my name: Al’skander.” Alexander smiled warmly at Bagoas. “I don’t know how you feel about the past, but I always loved you, Bagoas. I loved you in my very own way. I still do.”

Bagoas loved hearing those words. “I did wonder…” he admitted in a soft voice. He wanted to say more, but Alexander silenced him with a chaste kiss.

“You should sleep now, Bagoas. I just want you to know that I will listen when you are ready to discuss whatever it is that haunts you.” He was convinced that some of the things that bothered Bagoas were directly linked to his behavior in the past. “But we don’t want to wake up Hephaestion and should sleep now.”

Bagoas carefully rested his head against Alexander’s shoulder and sighed, deeply. Alexander’s fingers twined with his and he felt at ease and safe with Hephaestion spooned behind him and Alexander up front. Nothing bad, nothing evil, could get to him now and his eyes began to close as he dozed off.

“You did well, my Alexander.”

Alexander blinked. Hephaestion had opened his eyes and his lover was now looking at him. After convincing himself that Bagoas was sound asleep, Alexander replied, “I thought you were asleep.”

“I was, but your conversation woke me. You handled that situation well.”

Alexander beamed, hearing the approval in Hephaestion’s voice. “I am not good at talking. You know that.”

Hephaestion moved a little closer and completed the embrace Alexander had started. “Bagoas is changing, Alexander, and so are you. We are not the people we used to be in the past and most of these changes are for the better, don’t you think so?”
“You have changed as well,” said Alexander, musing aloud. “You have become more confident, less… passive. You take the lead nowadays and you would never have done so in the past.”

“Our situation was different back then, my Alexander. You were the Great King and I… I was just your lover.”

Alexander hated hearing Hephaestion putting himself down like that. “I thought we had already discussed this?” But then he remembered Hephaestion’s words. His lover had told him that he just needed to hear him say the words once in a while. “Hephaestion, you mean the world to me. You are the very reason I succeeded and became King of Asia. Maybe I should write a book and tell the truth where you are concerned. Some scholars might learn a thing or two.”

Hephaestion chuckled. “You? Write a book? Oh, Alexander, you don’t have the patience for that!”

“I could make it into a novel, describe our romance…”

Hephaestion’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t!”

“I could tell them in detail how I first claimed you, Hephaestion.” Oh, he had to stop this! He was growing hard and he didn’t want to spook Bagoas, should the younger man wake up and feel his arousal. “I like the idea of writing a book and dedicating it to you, Hephaestion.” The look Hephaestion gave him was absolutely comical and Alexander fought the urge to burst out in laughter. “Be honest and tell me you like my idea.”

“Your idea frightens me,” Hephaestion replied, returning the teasing. “I don’t want to know what you will write about me!”

“I will make you a deal.” Alexander’s lips brushed Bagoas’ brow in something that resembled a kiss, soothing the younger man when he whimpered in his sleep. The nightmare seemed to disappear and Bagoas grew calm once more. “I will let you read the draft before I send it to a publisher.”

Hephaestion didn’t quite know what to make of Alexander’s mood and decided that trying to figure his lover out wasn’t worth losing sleep over. Alexander could be unpredictable at times. “I guess it is okay as long as you let me read it first.”

Alexander’s eyes sparkled mischievously. “Great, it is a deal then!”

Hephaestion couldn’t help but worry about Alexander’s newest enterprise.

~~~

The next morning found Bagoas outside, seated on the grass, and befriending Peritas. The dog had been trying to get his attention and Bagoas had eventually relented. In his first life he had avoided dealing with Peritas as the dog always favored Hephaestion and Bagoas had transferred some of his hatred for Hephaestion onto the canine. He was trying to make amends right now, offering Peritas a snack, which the dog greedily accepted and devoured. “You like that, don’t you?” He carefully rubbed behind one of Peritas’ ears, still trying to grow used to the idea that everything was different now.

They had eaten breakfast and after that, Hephaestion had excused himself, declaring he wanted to work on his book concerning Aristotle’s teachings. That announcement had stunned both Bagoas and Alexander and they had given each other a questioning look. In the end, Alexander had suggested going outside and playing with the dog.

Alexander now sat down next to Bagoas and offered Peritas a squeaky toy. The dog, delighted with the toy, buried his teeth in it, producing a most appalling sound and making both men cringe.

Bagoas peeked at Alexander and wondered what to say.

Alexander peeked at Bagoas and thought exactly the same thing. He knew Hephaestion good enough to realize that his lover wanted him to talk to Bagoas and to spend time with the younger man, but Alexander still felt somewhat awkward around Bagoas. “Would you like to go for a ride? Or are your ribs still bothering you?”

Bagoas blinked once. “A ride?”

“Yes, Boukephalos needs the exercise and he can easily carry the two of us. We don’t have to go, if you prefer to rest. In that case we will just stay here and pester Hephaestion.”

A smile curled the corners of Bagoas’ lips. “We shouldn’t pester him.”

“You didn’t answer my question. Are your ribs still hindering you?”

Bagoas shook his head once. “Barely.” Bagoas moistened his lips and fidgeted with his sleeve, revealing his nervousness. The clothes which Alexander had bought for him were a perfect fit. He had tried thanking Alexander a second time, but the blond man had simply waved his words away.

“Boukephalos won’t throw you off, if that is what you are worried about.” Alexander got to his feet and extended his arm, offering Bagoas to pull him to his feet.

Resting his hand in Alexander’s was evidence of the trust Bagoas placed in the other man. He allowed Alexander to pull him to his feet and stood in front of him with his head bowed. “I have never ridden Boukephalos before. How can you be sure he will accept me onto his back?”

“I just know he will.” Alexander refused to let go of Bagoas’ hand now that he had a hold on the fingers and gently pulled the younger man toward the meadow Boukephalos was grazing in. “It is a nice day, and now that Hephaestion has deserted us, I shall keep you company instead.” Alexander opened the gate and pulled Bagoas along. Boukephalos, seeing his chance to get some exercise, approached and buried his warm nose in Alexander’s shirt. “Boukephalos, do you remember Bagoas?”

The horse’s ears stood upright, taking in the name and his nostrils trembled, smelling a familiar scent. Yes, he vaguely remembered the other man.

“We are going to take you for a ride,” Alexander whispered into Boukephalos’ ear. “Bagoas and I.” Alexander’s gaze traveled from the horse to Bagoas. “Can you get onto his back yourself or do you need my help?”

“I think I can manage.” Bagoas twined his fingers with the horse’s raven mane and pulled himself onto the broad back. He smiled, pleased that he had managed to do so without Alexander’s assistance.

Alexander grinned and swung onto the stallion’s back, seating himself behind Bagoas. He wrapped one arm around the younger man’s waist to make certain Bagoas wouldn’t fall off and pressed his heels into Boukephalos’ sides, guiding the horse toward the open gate.

Bagoas began to feel giddy, seated high upon Boukephalos’ back. He had ridden horses in his first life and had always loved the feeling of freedom that came over him high up on a horse’s back. Until now, he hadn’t realized how much he had missed riding. Boukephalos suddenly sped up and Bagoas wrapped the long hair of the stallion’s mane around his fingers. That way he continued to be slightly grounded. Alexander also tightened his hold on him and Bagoas relaxed, enjoying the ride.

Alexander smiled now that the tension was leaving Bagoas’ form. The younger man rested his back against him and relaxed. /Maybe I am better at this than I thought!/ But he knew the hardest part was yet to come. He had to apologize to Bagoas for the way he had acted in the past and there were two other things they needed to discuss. He wanted to know what had happened to Bagoas after his death and what the younger man’s feelings were concerning Hephaestion. Their upcoming conversation wouldn’t be easy on either of them and Alexander mentally prepared himself for whatever was to come.

~~~

“This is a nice place…” Alexander let his voice drift off, drawing Bagoas’ attention. The younger man had become lost in thought and had started to lean heavier against him. “You are not asleep, are you?” Alexander told Boukephalos to stop and tried to peek at Bagoas’ face. Yes, the eyes were only half-open.

“Not yet.” Bagoas drew in a deep breath and forced himself away from his daydreams which had oddly enough featured Hephaestion instead of Alexander.

“I am going to put you back onto your feet. Hold on.” Alexander easily slid off of the stallion’s back, wrapped his hands around Bagoas’ waist, lifted him, and put him onto his feet, just like he had promised. Boukephalos took to grazing and Alexander guided Bagoas toward a little stream. He sat down, removed shoes and socks and let his feet dangle in the cool water. “Join me, Bagoas.”

Bagoas swallowed hard. The tone Alexander had used reminded him of the time when his King would issue an order and expect him to follow. He obeyed now as well and immersed his feet in the water as well. He had to admit that Alexander’s idea worked well; the cool water felt refreshing.

“I took you here for a reason,” Alexander started, staring at their reflection in the water. “I want to talk to you.”

Bagoas grew nervous and wondered what was on Alexander’s mind. He recalled their brief conversation last night and hoped Alexander wasn’t going to make him address his past again. “What about?”

Alexander felt nervous himself and it took most of his courage to look at Bagoas. But the younger man was looking away and seemed determined not to meet his gaze. “Bagoas? Look at me?” He was careful not to make it sound like an order. He wanted Bagoas to look at him out of his own accord and yes, the dark eyes hesitantly met his. “I want to apologize to you, Bagoas. Looking back at how I treated you I realize I didn’t treat you like you deserved to be treated. I took what you offered instead of asking myself why you were eager to serve me.”

“Don’t. Don’t say such a thing!”

Bagoas’ eyes simmered; a dark flame burned in them and its fire surprised Alexander. He didn’t expect to see it there, not when Bagoas had acted so docile.

“Alexander, I… I loved you back then. I still do, though the nature of that love has somewhat changed. When you were the Great King, I felt honored to serve you and I fell in love with you because of your character, your passion, and your dedication to your cause. Serving you in that way was never a chore, never a burden.”

Alexander reached for Bagoas’ hand and he squeezed the fingers, which were long and small compared to his. “Still, what I did was wrong on several levels. By loving you I betrayed Hephaestion.”

The fire instantly died in Bagoas’ eyes and tears now glistered there instead.

“No!” Alexander quickly shook his head, appalled that Bagoas had reached the wrong conclusion so quickly. “That was my mistake, not yours!”

Bagoas shrugged once. “Alexander, I…” Lost for words, he simply stared at their twined fingers and returned the squeeze. “Please don’t feel guilty for loving me. I would not have survived without your love.”

Alexander’s breathing hitched, realizing his chance. “Bagoas, I always wanted to ask you… What happened after I died? I should have made arrangements for you, but I lost my mind and didn’t think rationally toward the end.”

Bagoas wasn’t certain just how Alexander would take his next words. “Several of your Companions offered to look after me. Ptolemy, Parmenion, and Crateros offered to keep me with them. I never realized that they saw me as a part of the army. The fact that you always remained fond of me and kept me at your side had gained me their respect and after your death they all offered to keep me under their wing.”

Alexander felt relieved. “I always thought they liked you. I still remember them cheering you on when you danced for me.”

“Yes, realizing the fact that they respected me surprised me too.” Bagoas wished he knew of a way to soften the blow he was about to deliver to Alexander. “But I didn’t accept their offers and…”

Dread filled Alexander’s heart, sensing Bagoas’ unease. “Why did you stop speaking?”

“I followed you into death.” Bagoas felt Alexander’s fingers tighten around his and he quickly looked up, only to see shock in the brown eyes. “I had lost my reason to live. I felt the same way you must have after Hephaestion died.”

“What did you do?” Alexander’s heart contracted painfully, realizing he had pulled Bagoas into death with him, although unintended, but he had still signed Bagoas’ death warrant in a certain way.

“I turned to poison to end my life.” Bagoas shrugged his shoulders once. “My death was quick.” Bagoas didn’t expect Alexander to fling himself at him and the next moment he was buried in a surprisingly tight hug. “Alexander…”

“I had hoped you had found love again in that life time, Bagoas. I acted so selfishly, taking my own life. I never realized the effect it would have on you. I didn’t think!”

“Alexander…” Bagoas shyly wrapped his arms around Alexander in turn and hugged him close. “You are not responsible for my actions. I chose death over an empty life. Something tells me you understand that.”

Alexander pulled back far enough to look Bagoas in the eyes. “I do.”

Bagoas managed a weak smile. “I wasn’t strong back then. I was weak. I couldn’t live without you. Everywhere I looked I saw Hephaestion’s face and the statues seemed to mock me.”

Alexander nodded his head once; this was the perfect moment to bring up Hephaestion. “You hated him back then. Do you still?” He loosened his hold, giving Bagoas the opportunity to move out of his arms if the younger man desired so.

Bagoas’ unease reappeared now that Alexander was bringing up Hephaestion. He had hoped Alexander would not discuss this with him. “You are right. I no longer hate him.” Hopefully Alexander would be content with that answer and not pressure on for more.

“Do you like him then?” Alexander stroked Bagoas’ hair, trying to reassure the younger man. But Bagoas grew rigid in his arms and the eyes… those dark eyes revealed something akin to fear. Seeing that fear made him concerned and he spoke again. “Bagoas, there is no right or wrong answer. I won’t be angry with you, no matter what you feel for Hephaestion. All I am asking is that you are honest. Tell me the truth. Do you like Hephaestion?” He already knew the answer to that one, but needed to hear it. Only then could he steer Bagoas in the right direction.

“What if I like him?” Bagoas lowered his gaze, unable to look Alexander in the eyes any longer. He had drawn his own conclusions where Hephaestion was concerned and had realized with a shock that he *was* in love with the auburn-haired man. But he couldn’t tell Alexander that. Hephaestion and Alexander belonged together and he already felt bad for getting between them.

“If you did, you would make me very happy.” Alexander placed a finger beneath Bagoas’ chin and tilted the head until the younger man had to make eye contact with him. “Hephaestion is easy to love, isn’t he?” The fact that Bagoas grew flustered only confirmed his thoughts. “It is more than ‘like’ him, isn’t it? You are falling in love with him.”

Bagoas’ eyes widened in terror and he tried to free himself of Alexander’s embrace so he could get back to his feet and run. “How do you know…?” He had so hoped no one had noticed his deepening affection for Hephaestion. “I am sorry,” he whispered now that Alexander refused to release him. He felt trapped and, even worse, he felt guilty. “I never wanted to fall in love with him. I always thought I couldn’t love… Not after what was done to me.”

“I am not angry with you,” Alexander said, trying to sooth a startled Bagoas. “I hoped this would happen.”

“You hoped I would fall in love with him?” Dazed, Bagoas stared at Alexander. “I don’t understand!”

“Hephaestion is a wonderful person, Bagoas, and I am happy that you are in love with him. You have so much healing to do and love is the only remedy that can heal your wounds.” Alexander hated the way Bagoas trembled in his embrace, but he wasn’t prepared to give in to the younger man’s terror and to let him go. “And Hephaestion has always been fond of you. Perfect, isn’t it?”

That last statement only increased Bagoas’ confusion and guilt. “I don’t understand how you can approve! Hephaestion is *your* lover! How can you welcome the fact that I love him too?” He ignored Alexander’s remark that Hephaestion loved him in turn. He wasn’t ready yet to deal with that.

“I approve because I am secure in my love for Hephaestion. I know he loves me and I love him. We are one soul, Bagoas. I tried to explain this to you before. Making love to me means you are making love to Hephaestion and making love to Hephaestion equals making love to me. Don’t you see that we have finally come full circle?”
Bagoas’ eyes searched Alexander’s, trying to determine the other man’s real feelings. “I can’t believe you welcome this.”

“Oh, Bagoas, when will you finally understand that this is meant to be?” Alexander forcefully pulled Bagoas close and crushed him against his chest. “I want you to be happy. I want you to heal. I won’t repeat the mistakes I made over two thousand years ago. I finally *see* how it is supposed to be. Bagoas, if you love Hephaestion, tell him. Trust me when I say that he already loves you back. Allow him to heal your wounds. You have no idea how powerful his love is. He kept me from going insane for most of my life.”

Bagoas listened to Alexander’s rambling, feeling off balance. “But what about you?” Even if he did as Alexander was asking him to, the blond man would feel left out.

A smile appeared on Alexander’s face, as he pulled back and made eye contact with Bagoas. “I love watching the two of you together, Bagoas. And who knows… maybe in time it will be the three of us?”

“Would you like that?” His member had hardened when Alexander had expressed that desire. “Do you want it to be the three of us?”

“Eventually, yes. But not yet. First, you need to bask in Hephaestion’s love and grow strong again. Don’t worry. I will always be there for you. If you need me, you will find me close.” Alexander kissed Bagoas’ lips and smiled, hearing the other man whimper. “It was always supposed to be like this, Bagoas. Allow for this to happen. Accept Hephaestion’s love. You already have mine and you will never lose it. You can only win, Bagoas.”

“I am not so sure about that…”

“Bagoas, stop doubting yourself! Trust me.” Alexander attempted to change Bagoas’ mind one last time by saying, “Let Hephaestion love you and love him in turn. And once the time is ripe, I will join the two of you. We will be happy. Trust me, I know we will.”

Bagoas still wasn’t convinced, but the idea of exploring his feelings for Hephaestion and being loved by the auburn-haired man was oh so tempting. “Are you certain you don’t mind? That you won’t grow jealous? I won’t do anything that will make you angry with him.”

“I am sure.” Alexander continued to smile at Bagoas. “Love him, Bagoas, and let his love heal you.”


Part 4

Hephaestion noticed that something had changed when Bagoas walked up to him. After typing away at his laptop, he had taken some time to prepare a refreshing salad, figuring Alexander and Bagoas would be hungry upon their return. “Where is Alexander?” he asked, trying to get a conversation going.

“He decided to go for a long walk along the beach.” Bagoas sat down at the kitchen table, trying to sort out his thoughts and emotions. The fact that Alexander had actually encouraged him to deepen his relationship with Hephaestion still stunned him.

“Here, eat something.” Hephaestion handed Bagoas a fork, sat down opposite the younger man, and began eating. “I hope you like the salad.” He had tried to give it a Greek twist, adding olives, feta, and herbs.

Bagoas took a bite and nodded his head once. “It is very tasty. “ Although he wasn’t hungry – his stomach was too knotted to enjoy the food – he forced a few more bites down, just to show Hephaestion that he did like the salad. “Alexander and I talked,” he said a few minutes later, placing his fork back onto the kitchen table.

Hephaestion remained patient, sensing something extra-ordinary had happened to Bagoas and he gave the younger man the time he needed to figure out what to say and how to say it. In the meantime, he dug into the salad.

“I told him what happened to me after he died.” Bagoas didn’t really want to do this, but realized Hephaestion also needed to know if they were to build a solid relationship. “I died shortly after he did. I took my life.”

Hephaestion’s fork fell onto the table with a thud. “You did what?” He couldn’t believe Bagoas had done such a thing!

“I had lost Alexander.” Bagoas shrugged and cautiously met Hephaestion’s gaze, cringing at the horror he saw in the blue depths. “What was I supposed to do? I was nothing without him.”

“And you told Alexander this?”

“I did and he understood.” Bagoas offered Hephaestion an apologetic smile. “He took his life for the same reason. He missed you. He couldn’t live without you.”

Hephaestion needed a moment to accept this news and composed himself. “I am sorry I died. If I hadn’t fallen ill…” But Bagoas’ eyes silenced him and Hephaestion was surprised at the strength mirrored in those brown orbs.

“No one is to blame for what happened.” Bagoas gave Hephaestion a firm look. “You were right, Hephaestion. We need to stop looking at the past and focus on the present, maybe even the future.” Bagoas’ fingers snaked across the table and they shook when he placed his hand atop of Hephaestion’s. “He also made me confess my feelings for you.”

“Your feelings for me?” Hephaestion blinked in surprise. Alexander had hinted that Bagoas had grown fond of him that evening in the shower, but he had dismissed the idea. Bagoas had always loved Alexander best.

“I felt uncomfortable telling Alexander and I feel nervous now as well.” Bagoas lowered his gaze and stared at their hands. “I don’t know when it happened, or why, but I am in love with you. No, please let me finish now that I still have the courage to do so.” Hephaestion had wanted to interrupt him and Bagoas now gave the older man a pleading look. “Let me say this.”

Hephaestion didn’t know what to think of this development. He had never thought Bagoas would fall in love with him. He had hoped for friendship, maybe even something more, some attraction, but not love.

“You are gentle, caring and… you supported me although you didn’t have to. I realized that I was jealous for no reason at all and that I wronged you in the past. I always thought of you as the possessive one, someone who kept Alexander away from me, but I now understand that it was the other way around. I was trying to possess Alexander and to keep him away from you.” Bagoas gently rubbed Hephaestion’s fingers, feeling encouraged now that the older man hadn’t pulled his hand away. “Maybe it happened the other day when you touched me so intimately. The way you kissed me… down there,” he paused, blushing and unable to find the right words. “The words you said to me, the things you did… I think I fell for you that moment.”

Hephaestion’s mouth had gone dry and a lump of emotions had formed in the back of his throat. “Bagoas, I don’t know what to say. I never expected to hear this from you.”

“Alexander said… He said that you care for me and that… that I should love you and… that your love would heal me… but I am afraid, Hephaestion. Is Alexander right? Do you care about me in that way? Do you really love me?”

Hephaestion’s empathy kicked in, guiding him, and he gently squeezed Bagoas’ fingers. “I already told you that I love you, didn’t I? Bagoas, I always hoped that you would one day return my feelings, but I never dared to hope so. I understand the fragile trust that you are placing in my hands and I won’t betray it. I will help you heal the best way I can.” Leaning in closer, he slid the fingers of his other hand into Bagoas’ raven mane. “We will take things slowly, yes?” He didn’t want to overwhelm or pressure Bagoas in any way.

“There is something else I want you to know…” Bagoas’ nervousness increased. “I don’t think I can be on the bottom, if you decide to… you know to have… sex… with me… I still have nightmares about that and certain touches make me panic… I freeze and…” Just remembering the agony he had been in made him want to throw up. His stomach turned and startled, he looked to Hephaestion for help.

Hephaestion acted instantly. He grabbed hold of Bagoas and helped him lean over the sink. The few bites of salad reappeared and Bagoas struggled to get his emotions back under control, but the heaves continued until he had completely cleared the contents of his stomach. “Don’t fight it,” Hephaestion advised, brushing Bagoas’ hair out of the way. With his other hand he reached for a wash cloth, wetted it, and pressed it against Bagoas’ heated brow. “You are trying to take on too much in too short a time. Don’t force it.”

Bagoas rode out the rest of the dry heaves and leaned heavily against Hephaestion. He felt disgusted with himself for being unable to control his emotions. Thinking about the rapes he had suffered had made him feel queasy and his stomach had reacted, making him throw up. “I am sorry,” he whispered in a raw voice.

“There is no reason to be sorry. You couldn’t help it.” Hephaestion handed Bagoas the bottle of mouth wash and told him to rinse. “You can brush your teeth when you feel a bit more settled.”

Bagoas rinsed his mouth and failed to stop the tears from flowing from his eyes. Hephaestion hadn’t let him down. The other man had supported him and hadn’t turned away when he had emptied his stomach. That made him hope that Hephaestion’s love was for real. “I feel dizzy.”

“You should recline.” Hephaestion slowly lifted Bagoas in his arms and carried him over to the couch. “Why don’t you rest for a little while? I will stay close.” He would clean up the mess in the kitchen and then return to keep Bagoas company.

“Don’t leave! Please don’t!” Bagoas was close to panicking and he grabbed hold of Hephaestion’s right hand. “Please stay,” he said in a pleading voice.

“I will have to clean up in a sec, but I can stay a moment longer.” Hephaestion seated himself on the couch next to Bagoas and soothingly stroked the dark head. “That was hard on you, wasn’t it? Telling me about your fears?”

Bagoas’ stomach did another somersault, but as it was already empty, nothing else happened. “I always was in so much pain… I can’t bear the thought of ever having someone inside me again… Do you still love me or…?”

“Do you remember the time you offered yourself to me? What did I tell you back then?” Hephaestion moved the cool wash cloth against Bagoas’ heated brow and smiled ruefully at him.

The memory Hephaestion’s words evoked calmed Bagoas. “You refused me and you told me that you wanted my love, not my body.”

“And you told me that you wanted to feel good. Bagoas, there are so many ways to make you feel good that don’t entail penetration. You are safe with me. I will never take what you aren’t willing to give.”

Bagoas held his breath, feeling Hephaestion kiss his brow. “That is gross… I just threw up and I feel hot.”

Hephaestion cocked his head and the smile stayed on his face. “You need some rest. These last few days have been extremely stressful for you.”

“Thank you,” Bagoas whispered, losing the fight against his fatigue. Emotionally he was a wreck and he felt drained. Rest was exactly what he needed right now. “Stay with me until I am asleep?”
“I am here,” Hephaestion replied, holding Bagoas’ hand. “I am not leaving.” He watched Bagoas surrender to sleep and fought back his own tears. “At least you are beginning to trust me.” Entrusting his fears to him had been an important step. “I will never betray your trust.” He vowed to never hurt Bagoas and to put the younger man’s needs first as long as Bagoas was recovering.

~~~

Alexander frowned, finding Hephaestion on the couch with Bagoas’ head once more resting in his lap. Bagoas looked pale, too pale, and he didn’t remember the younger man looking like that when they had parted. “What has happened here?” He sat down on a comfortable chair and cringed, seeing the worried expression in Hephaestion’s clouded eyes.

“Bagoas told me about your conversation.”

“And that caused him to have a breakdown? Because that is how he looks!” Alexander tried to keep his voice down, but seeing Bagoas so pale, so lost, unnerved him. “I thought we had talked everything out.”

“You did. That is why he came to me and confided his worst fear to me.” Hephaestion kept up the soothing stroking of Bagoas’ hair. “Alexander, he told me that he can’t be on the receiving end and it was that confession that made him hurl.”

Alexander had calmed down and met Hephaestion’s caring eyes. “I figured as much. How do you plan on handling him? I saw him become aroused when I took you yesterday and yet he doesn’t want to act on his feelings.”

“He entrusted himself to me a few days ago and I brought him to orgasm. He looked at me with such guilty eyes afterwards… Alexander, what Bagoas needs right now is love and support, not lust or desire. He needs to be reassured that he is valuable as a person and that we love him for who he is. We might have to say it more than once.”

“Just like you need to hear how much you mean to me once in a while.” Alexander wondered just how many mistakes he had made in the past, realizing Hephaestion’s former low self-worth had partly been his doing as well. And it now seemed he had made the same mistake with Bagoas.

Hephaestion’s smile was incredibly soft when he looked at Alexander. “Yes, just like that.”

“Tell me how I should act around him. Now that he has admitted he has feelings for you I don’t want to make another mistake. What do I do?”

“You continue to do what you have done so far. You will be there for him. You support him, listen to him, and you offer to talk to him. You are doing well, Alexander. You have changed too.” Hephaestion wanted to hug Alexander close, but couldn’t because he didn’t want to wake Bagoas. “Don’t approach him in a sexual way; let me handle that.”

Alexander nodded. “I know that you will help him heal; that is why I encouraged Bagoas to tell you that he has fallen in love with you.”

“That he has fallen for me surprises me. I didn’t think he would.”

“How could he not fall in love with you now that he has set aside his hatred?” Alexander gave Hephaestion an adoring look. “I just wished he had realized how unnecessary his jealousy was in his first life.”

“We all need time to learn, my Alexander. To learn and grow.”

Just when Alexander thought that he couldn’t love Hephaestion more, his lover would say something that made him fall in love all over with him and his heart filled with love and adoration. “I am so lucky to have your love, Hephaestion.” Without it, he would not have been the man he was today.

~~~

“Did you enjoy that nap?” Hephaestion opted for some teasing upon seeing Bagoas awaken. “I reckon my lap makes a good pillow? Are you a bit rested now?”

Bagoas had the grace to smile. “How long have I been asleep?” Using Hephaestion’s lap as a pillow meant the other man had been stuck on the couch.

“A little over an hour.” Hephaestion combed through Bagoas’ hair with his fingers. “Why don’t you take a long, hot bath and then join Alexander and me for dinner?”

“Alexander is here?” Bagoas raised his head a little and sighted Alexander in the kitchen, already in the middle of preparing dinner.

“Yes, I am here.” Alexander cast a look at Bagoas from over his shoulder. “Looks like this is the perfect moment to try out those bath oils I gave you. Hephaestion, would you give Bagoas a hand? He looks… wobbly,” Alexander added that last word, seeing how unsteady Bagoas was on his feet.

Hephaestion supported Bagoas into the bathroom and turned on the tap in order to fill the bathtub.

“I put those oils over there.” Bagoas pointed Hephaestion in the right direction. He struggled with removing his jeans and shirt but succeeded in undressing himself. Shakily, he swayed, moving toward the bathtub. Hephaestion looked at him and Bagoas’ face grew hot and flustered now that he stood naked in front of the older man. The bruises had long faded and his ribs had healed, but he still felt tainted. The wounds his rapists had left behind were invisible, but would always remain a part of him.

The tub had finally filled with hot water and Hephaestion added the scented bath oil. “Let me help.” He curled on arm around Bagoas’ waist and carefully guided the younger man into the bathtub. He didn’t dare release Bagoas from his hold until the other man was safely seated in the tub. “And now relax.” Hephaestion seated himself on the rim of the bathtub and poured some shampoo into his hands. Gently, he massaged it into the strands.

Bagoas’ nerves began to calm down and he surrendered to Hephaestion’s tender ministrations. “You surprise me.”

“And why is that?” Hephaestion used a cup to rinse the shiny hair and then pushed the strands away from the neck. Massaging the tense muscles there, he felt Bagoas relax further.

“I never thought you could be like this. I always thought… I don’t know what I thought. I never tried getting to know you – really getting to know you.” Bagoas closed his eyes and bowed his head, giving Hephaestion more space to work with. He then leaned forward, also allowing the older man to massage his shoulders and back. “That feels so good.” No one had ever done this for him.

Hephaestion worked on one tense muscle after another. He didn’t feel the need to talk. He just wanted Bagoas to relax and enjoy the massage.

~~~

Hephaestion helped Bagoas into a bathrobe and towel-dried the long strands of hair. He used his fingers to undo the worst tangles and loved seeing Bagoas looking a bit disheveled like this. “Are you hungry?”

“Not really.” Bagoas brushed his teeth and shame once more crept up on him, remembering how he had hurled in front of Hephaestion. “I am sorry I lost it.”

“Stop apologizing, Bagoas.” Hephaestion placed his hands on Bagoas’ shoulders and looked into the dark eyes. “You are healing. It is a slow and painful process. This won’t be the last time your feelings will overwhelm you.”

“I…” Bagoas was thankful that Hephaestion was trying to reassure him, but what he really needed weren’t words – he needed touch instead.

“Tell me what you need.” Hephaestion probed the expressive eyes and saw the need there, but he also wanted Bagoas to voice it.

“I need you to hold me.” Bagoas immediately lowered his gaze, wondering how Hephaestion would react to that request. He had never asked for much in either of his lives and this was the first time he felt strong enough to actually speak such words. “I need you to hold me tight and to tell me that I will be fine.”

“Bagoas, you will be fine.” Hephaestion embraced Bagoas, holding him close. “Give it time.”

Bagoas released a shuddering breath and pressed close against Hephaestion. “The Gods help me, but I think I love you, Hephaestion.” As his face rested against Hephaestion’s shoulder, he couldn’t see the rapturous expression in the glimmering blue eyes.

“And I love you too.”
~~~

“Alexander? What is this?” Hephaestion cocked an eyebrow. Alexander was in the middle of serving dessert and seeing what was on his plate made Hephaestion look up at his lover. Bagoas, seated next to him, actually giggled and hearing that sound made Hephaestion’s heart leap with joy.

“Those, my beloved Hephaestion, are penis-shaped chocolates. I bought them when I was in town and kept them in the freezer since.” Alexander provocatively wiggled an eyebrow. “Are you going to eat them, Hephaestion?”

Hephaestion closed his eyes and prayed for patience. “You didn’t possess such a wicked streak in your first life.”

Alexander’s eyes devoured his lover’s form and he wished they were alone right now. Then he would invite Hephaestion to eat something else. “Come on, Hephaestion, lick it.”

“I am not going to give in to you.” Hephaestion opened his eyes and savored seeing Alexander so carefree and energetic. One of his worries, when they had settled down here, had been that Alexander would grow bored or restless, but it appeared Alexander had found his own way to fight boredom. “Penis-shaped chocolates…” He shook his head at such folly.

Bagoas, still feeling relaxed and at ease, slipped one of the naughty chocolates into his mouth and bit down on the chocolate – hard – and the cracking sound echoed through the kitchen.

“Just be very glad that wasn’t your penis,” said Hephaestion, seeing his chance to tease Alexander in turn.

Alexander pretended to sway and gave Bagoas a pretend-shocked look. “Ouch, that would have hurt!”

Bagoas gave Hephaestion a cocky smile and the three men continued to eat their dessert, joking and teasing each other with the shape of their delicacy.

~~~

That evening, Hephaestion and Bagoas turned in early again. Alexander said he wanted to finish watching a documentary, but in reality he wanted the two men to have some privacy so Hephaestion could start working his magic.

This time, Bagoas didn’t feel sleepy and he was very much aware of the awake expression in Hephaestion’s startling blue eyes. Clad only in his bathrobe, he debated if he should remove it or keep it on. One part of him wanted to feel Hephaestion’s skin against his, but another part worried Hephaestion might grow aroused and break his promise to never force him. It was during exactly that moment that those two voices started to whisper again.

/This is your chance to take control. Use that charm on him! Oromedon taught you well! Show Hephaestion your worth! Make him whisper your name in the moment of climax! Remember what you are and why he wants you here. You are a whore, Bagoas. You always were a whore. You still are one and you will also remain one!/

The intensity of that screaming voice made Bagoas sway and he didn’t even notice that Hephaestion caught him and lowered him onto the bed.

/No, that isn’t true! I am not a whore! They like me for who I am!/

/You say they *like* you! You don’t even believe that they love you!/

“Please, Hephaestion, make them stop.” Bagoas’ fingers buried themselves in Hephaestion’s hair and he pressed against the older man. “I can’t make them stop.”

“What is wrong, Bagoas? Tell me.” Hephaestion knew something was amiss, but didn’t know what was tormenting Bagoas in such a way that the younger man was trying to curl up in a fetal position. Holding him close, he whispered into Bagoas’ ear. “What is it that you want to stop?”

“The voices in my head.”

“Tell me what they are saying.” Hephaestion rubbed Bagoas’ lower back and hummed softly, hoping the sound would reassure the trembling man in his arms.

“There is Bagoas, the eunuch… He screams the hardest. He tries to convince me that I am a whore and that you don’t love me…” Bagoas’ swimming eyes made eye contact with Hephaestion. “And then there is the voice of this little boy… I think he is me… A younger me… And he tries to fight Bagoas, the eunuch. Hephaestion, am I losing my mind?”

“I doubt that very much.” Hephaestion kept his voice calm and soft, hoping to reassure Bagoas further. “But you might continue to hear those voices for some time. You had the harshest life of the three of us and you have much to deal with. Just remember what we told you, Bagoas, we love you. Tell those voices that whenever they scream at you. Tell them that Alexander and Hephaestion love you. It might silence them.”

Bagoas tried just that. He repeated Hephaestion’s words and hurled them at the voices. A moment later, a startling silence blanketed his mind. The voices had stopped yelling at him. “It worked.” Relieved, he smiled at Hephaestion.

“They will be back. I am not a psychologist, Bagoas; maybe you should seek out a councilor who can help you deal with the trauma you suffered?”

“Something tells me that I don’t need a councilor. I need you. You and Alexander, but foremost you, Hephaestion.”

“You have my love and my support, my love, you know that.”

“What did you call me?” Bagoas’ eyes had grown big.

“My love,” repeated Hephaestion in a caring voice. “Or do you mind me calling you that?”

“Won’t Alexander grow jealous, hearing you call me that?” Bagoas still worried that he would somehow tear the two lovers apart.

“I seldom call Alexander that,” replied Hephaestion, musing aloud. “He is my Alexander… That is what I call him.”

Bagoas moistened his lips, looked Hephaestion in the eye, and said, “You are very special to Alexander. I could never compete with you.”

Hephaestion opted for a diplomatic reply. “Why should you? When I love you too?” Seeing the rising love in Bagoas’ eyes, Hephaestion realized he had said the right thing.

“I love being like this… just lying here, in your arms, and looking into your eyes.”

“We don’t have much need for words, do we?” Hephaestion understood.

Bagoas nodded against Hephaestion’s chest, closed his eyes, and surrendered to this blissful feeling of belonging. He didn’t need words, didn’t need to tell Hephaestion how he felt, for Hephaestion already knew… and that knowledge gave him calm and strength.

Part 5

"Morning…" Alexander leaned in closer to press a kiss onto Hephaestion's hair. He had left their bed a few minutes ago and had made his way over to Hephaestion's side to kiss his lover awake. Bagoas was still asleep and Alexander took great care not to wake the younger man up just yet. Bagoas' sleep had been restless and he had frequently had to sooth the younger man during the night. Hephaestion's eyes blinked and the auburn-haired man tilted his head so they could make eye-contact.

"Hush, be quiet," Alexander said, whispering the words into Hephaestion's ear. "Bagoas didn't get much sleep last night. We should let him rest."

Hephaestion smiled, sleepily, at his lover. "Good morning." He whispered the words and searched Alexander's sparkling eyes. "What are you up to?"
"I will take Peritas for a walk and then I will give Boukephalos some exercise. I will be gone most of the day, which will give you a chance to deepen your relationship with Bagoas." Interpreting Hephaestion's skeptical look correctly, he shook his head. "No, I am not running away. And no, I don't feel redundant. I know the two of you want me here. This is just my way of giving you some privacy. You understand that, don't you, Hephaestion?"

"I do," Hephaestion whispered, touched that Alexander was so concerned about Bagoas. "But you will join us for dinner, won't you?"

"Yes, and I will also take your laptop with me. I hope you don't mind… I want to start my novel." Alexander gave Hephaestion a deceptively sweet smile. "Writing about all the times we made love will be interesting."

Hephaestion wanted to grab Alexander and shake some sense into the other man, but he couldn't do that as Bagoas was resting in his arms and thus limited him in his movement. "You'd better behave!"

"Me? Never." Alexander pressed a quick kiss onto Hephaestion's lips and then strode out of the room in a defiant manner.

"Oh, yes, you act smug because you know I am stuck in bed!" If Bagoas hadn't been so tightly attached to him he would have chased after Alexander to talk some sense into his lover. But Bagoas demanded his attention and Hephaestion settled down for a wait, satisfied with watching Bagoas sleep.

~~~

Bagoas stretched, yawned, and then slowly opened his eyes. Although his dreams had been restless, sleep had still refreshed him and he was now ready to face another day. What he didn't expect to see first thing in the morning was Hephaestion smiling at him with such a loving expression in his eyes.

"Good morning, Bagoas." Not giving Bagoas a chance to grow shy or nervous, Hephaestion quickly placed a chaste kiss on the younger man's brow. "How do you feel today? A bit more rested?"

Bagoas couldn't help feeling a bit bashful around Hephaestion, especially now that he noticed that the older man was naked. One look at the alarm clock told him that it was already ten o'clock. Something told him that under normal circumstances Hephaestion would have long left the bed. Moving about, he finally realized the reason for Hephaestion still being in bed: he had folded his arms tightly around the muscular body and clung to Hephaestion. "I am sorry," Bagoas muttered, immediately releasing Hephaestion from his hold.

"There is nothing to feel sorry for. I like seeing you asleep in my arms." Hephaestion was determined not to give Bagoas any reason to start feeling guilty or ashamed again. "But you didn't answer my question. Do you feel better today?"

Hephaestion's question evoked memories regarding the day before and Bagoas' face flushed, recalling he had thrown up and clung to Hephaestion afterwards. As a matter of fact, he was *still* clinging to the older man -- emotionally. "I feel a bit better." It was the truth: he did feel marginally better. /Maybe that is because my stomach is empty./

Hephaestion realized that there was no way out of discussing what had happened yesterday, but he was determined to sound as positive as he could. "Telling me about your fears must have been hard on you. Thank you for confiding in me." Hephaestion let his fingers slide through the still disheveled hair. Seeing the unease in Bagoas' eyes, he added, "I like seeing you like this – with your hair wild, still uncombed."

"You do? Why is that?" Bagoas frowned.

"Because when we lived in Babylon you always kept it so neat. Each strand seemed to know its place perfectly. I like it better this way." In order to prove his point, Hephaestion gently ruffled Bagoas' hair.

"I didn't know that." Feeling nervous, Bagoas briefly averted his eyes. "Hephaestion, I…"

"Yes?" Hephaestion smiled, encouragingly.

"This feels strange… You, in bed with me… No Alexander… Why did he leave?" Bagoas still worried that he might cause problems within their relationship.

"Alexander decided to spend the day outside. He will be back before dinner."

"Is he doing that on purpose? Why?"

Hephaestion drew in a deep breath, seeing the lost and abandoned look in Bagoas' eyes. Bagoas might no longer feel that obsessive love for Alexander, but the younger man still greatly cared for Alexander. "He wants us to spend some time together."

Bagoas was about to ask more questions when his stomach growled – loudly and angrily.

"I guess that means it is time for breakfast." Hephaestion began to move away from Bagoas. "Why don't you wash your face and put on some clothes? You can then join me in the kitchen." Hephaestion left the bed, slipped into his jeans, and raised his right hand, offering to pull Bagoas to his feet.

Bagoas accepted the gesture and got to his feet. They stood close now, incredibly close, and his heartbeat accelerated. He wanted to kiss Hephaestion, wanted to press himself against the muscular form – wanted those strong arms to circle his waist and to hold him. Timidly, he raised his hand and placed its palm against Hephaestion's cheek, feeling the somewhat course facial skin beneath his fingertips. "You didn't seem to mind when I told you I love you. I still have trouble accepting that you are agreeable to this. I didn't think you would."

Hephaestion knew the self-doubt might continue for some while and reacted with a kiss. Pressing his lips against Bagoas’, he gently kissed him. Bagoas' lips and teeth parted and he tenderly explored the younger man's mouth. At the same time, he slipped his hands up Bagoas' back and pulled him close. He was aroused, like he was almost every morning and knew Bagoas felt his arousal. Hephaestion wondered how Bagoas would react to that sensation. Maybe he was even trying to test Bagoas.

"Do you desire me that much?" Bagoas was tempted to slide his hand down Hephaestion's chest and touch him intimately, but a part of him was afraid what might happen if he did, so he kept his hands to himself.

Bagoas' reaction pleased Hephaestion. As far as Hephaestion was concerned it was a good thing that Bagoas wasn't offering to bring him to orgasm. It meant Bagoas was focusing on other aspects of their relationships. "Go, change into some clothes and then join me in the kitchen."

Bagoas' knees almost gave way beneath him and he swayed when Hephaestion released him. The older man exited the bedroom, leaving him behind – confused. Bagoas had always been around men who wanted him for his body – for the sex. And now there was Hephaestion, who proclaimed to love him for other reasons than just sex and, so far, the older man had given him no reason to doubt that. Hephaestion kept his distance – sexually – and that although he had felt Hephaestion's arousal. Any other customer would have either told him to suck it or to bend over. But not Hephaestion. Hephaestion had only kissed him.

Love blossomed in Bagoas' heart as he finally realized that Hephaestion was for real. He could trust himself with Hephaestion and even more importantly, he could trust Hephaestion to put his needs first.

~~~

"You didn't have to do that." Bagoas gingerly seated himself, looking at the toast, scrambled egg, pancakes, and the cereal Hephaestion had placed on the kitchen table. "I am not *that* hungry." Contrary to his words, his stomach growled again. "Well, maybe just a little." The idea of putting food in his stomach made him nauseous. What if he had to hurl again? He didn't want Hephaestion to constantly clean up after him.

"Why don't you try some buttered toast and a cup of tea?" Hephaestion had made strong, black coffee for himself and was in the middle of piling the scrambled egg onto a slice of toast. "That way your stomach might settle down a bit."

Reluctantly, Bagoas did as Hephaestion had suggested and nibbled on a slice of buttered toast, sipping the tea Hephaestion had made for him. Looking at the older man, he wondered if he had reached the right conclusion. "Do you like taking care of me?" Hephaestion's warm open smile answered his question.

"Yes, I like that very much. I am like that with Alexander as well, Bagoas. I like taking care of people." Hephaestion reached for a pancake and added some fruits to it. "Try this." He handed Bagoas the plate. "But eat slowly. You don't want to upset your stomach."

Bagoas took a few bites out of the pancake because he wanted to please Hephaestion. The older man had gone to great lengths to get him something tasty to eat. "I like it when you take care of me," Bagoas admitted, quickly lowering his gaze so he was staring at the plate instead of Hephaestion's eyes. Opening up to Hephaestion wasn't easy, but he was determined to try. "I only trusted one person in my life and that was Alexander. In my second life, there was no one I could trust – until now. I trust you, Hephaestion."

Hephaestion's heart missed a beat. "Bagoas, Alexander still loves you and will always protect you. Yes, you can trust him, and yes, you can trust me. Alexander and I love you." Hephaestion understood the big step Bagoas had just taken by admitting his feelings. "Now finish eating your breakfast."

Bagoas managed a smile and raised his eyes, looking into Hephaestion's. "I love you," he whispered, still unfamiliar with speaking the words to Hephaestion instead of Alexander.

And Hephaestion, knowing how badly Bagoas needed to hear his reply, answered, "And I love you, my sweet Bagoas."

~~~

After breakfast, Hephaestion followed Bagoas into the living room. Although Bagoas smiled at him once in a while, Hephaestion could literally see the tension in the way the younger man hunched his shoulders. His hands were itching to do something about that, but he didn't know how Bagoas would react to his suggestion and so he remained undecided.

Bagoas sat down on the couch, pulled up his legs, and wrapped his arms around his knees. To Hephaestion, the younger man looked in need of affection and, even more so, a thorough massage, especially around the shoulder area. Hephaestion seated himself close to Bagoas on the couch and waited for the raven-haired man to make eye-contact with him. "You seem tense."

"That is because I am tense." Bagoas' voice was barely a whisper. "It has nothing to do with you, though. I am beginning to realize what has happened to me… That I got away from those pimps and that I am safe… That I can start a whole new life now."

"But?" Hephaestion said.

"But I am still afraid that they will somehow find me and take me back. And then Alexander and you will find yourselves in trouble as well." Bagoas' dark eyes swam with unshed tears. "I am endangering you."

Hephaestion rested his hand atop of Bagoas' and rubbed the long fingers. "First, Bagoas, Alexander and I have been in trouble before. We can defend ourselves. Don't worry about us."

"And second?" Bagoas just knew there was more to follow.

"And secondly, we are going to do something about you feeling that tense." Hephaestion cocked his head and stared into Bagoas' eyes, hiding nothing. "Alexander always tells me how good I am at giving massages. I could work on your back and shoulders, Bagoas. You might feel less tense afterwards."

Bagoas liked the idea, but… "Would I have to undress in order for you to give me that massage?"

"Yes." Hephaestion tread carefully, seeing the expression in Bagoas' eyes. Yes, the younger man trusted him, but the instincts were still there – instincts which told him to be careful. "I am only talking about giving you a massage, Bagoas. It will only become more if you want that. I won't instigate any intimacy if that is what you are afraid of."

"Not afraid," Bagoas said quickly, hoping he hadn't hurt Hephaestion's feelings. "I do trust you," he repeated. "It is just that I don't know how to behave… around you… it is hard."

"Yes, setting boundaries is hard, but you are doing well." Hephaestion continued to rub Bagoas' fingers. "You are doing fine."

"Setting boundaries?" He hadn't realized he was doing that.

"It is a good thing," Hephaestion said, soothing Bagoas, who gave him an upset look. "You don't want anyone to touch you against your will and you feel comfortable enough to try that with me. You are doing well, my love."

Hearing those last two words made Bagoas blush once more. "I never blushed this much."

Hephaestion chuckled. "You should have seen me when I first realized my feelings for Alexander. I blushed all the time… and so did Alexander. We were schoolboys, Bagoas. We didn't really understand the nature of our feelings."

Hephaestion's words calmed Bagoas' nerves. "Only a massage? Nothing more?"

"Only if you want it to be more." Hephaestion wanted to keep this option open, just in case Bagoas would decide to take a chance at trusting him a little bit more. "What do you say, Bagoas? Doesn't that sound good? A massage?"

"I guess it does…" Bagoas didn't quite know how to tell Hephaestion this. "In my first life, I was the one giving massages – sexual massages, you know." He peeked at Hephaestion to see if the other man understood. "And in my second life I… I never had a massage that wasn't supposed to lead to sex." Painful sex – for him, that is.

"Why don't you remove your clothes and lie down on the bed? I will join in a moment. I need to locate the massage oil. Alexander tends to leave it in strange places. The last time I found it hidden beneath one of the couch pillows." He already was sliding his hand under the pillow, trying to find the oil. "Go ahead."

Bagoas swallowed hard. Although he wanted to trust Hephaestion, that trust didn't come easily. He had been lied to, hurt, and taken advantage of too many times already and he still expected it to happen again. /But no, this is Hephaestion…/ And, to his surprise, he wanted to add something to that thought… /My lion…/

Bagoas almost fled into the bedroom, forcing himself to keep drawing in deep breaths of air. He could trust Hephaestion. His lion would never betray his trust.

~~~

Bagoas felt nervous when he lay down on his stomach. The bed dipped beneath his weight and he tried to calm down his breathing, which had grown ragged. The fact that he couldn't see Hephaestion unnerved him.

"I finally found it! Only the Gods know why Alexander would put massage oil in the kitchen cupboard next to the sugar!" Hephaestion continued to talk softly as he saw the tension in Bagoas' shoulders. The younger man looked like he was ready to bolt from the room. "I will put on some music." Maybe that would help Bagoas relax. He turned on the radio and tuned into a station that aired classical music. "So, are you ready, Bagoas?" He had brought a towel with him and now covered Bagoas' backside with it, hoping the younger man felt less exposed that way.

"It is not because of you, Hephaestion," Bagoas mumbled. His head rested on his forearms and he briefly lifted his head to look at Hephaestion from over his shoulder. To his relief, the older man was still dressed in jeans and he had even put a T-shirt on. The fact that Hephaestion had placed a towel over his butt also reassured him somewhat.

"I know that." Hephaestion knelt on the bed next to Bagoas as he didn't want to straddle the younger man's lower back. He had to take this one step at a time. He uncapped the bottle and poured some of the massage oil onto his palms. "I will just warm this up." He rubbed his hands together and drew in a deep breath in order to center himself. "A massage is supposed to be relaxing, Bagoas, so if I do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable tell me and I will stop."

Bagoas nodded his head once and then rested his brow back onto his forearms. He didn't realize it, but his hands had turned into fists. That was how tense he felt.

"Now, let me… Why are you so tense, Bagoas?"

Hephaestion's touch felt right and Bagoas answered without thinking first. "I am afraid this will end – that I can’t be this lucky."

Hephaestion concentrated on the curve of Bagoas' back, sliding his palms down along the elegant spine. "It is about time you got lucky in life, Bagoas. You deserve so much better."

"Do I?" Lured into relaxation by Hephaestion's talented hands, Bagoas released a deep sigh. "Oh, this feels so good." Even when Hephaestion applied some pressure to his tense and sore muscles, it still felt good.

"It is supposed to feel good." Hephaestion continued to work on Bagoas' back a little longer, and, once the worst knots had been kneaded away, his fingers traveled up, massaging the neck. "Just let go, Bagoas. You can relax."

Bagoas felt like putty in Hephaestion's talented hands and his eyes started to close. This was the first time in his life that someone was focusing on bringing him such pleasure, such relaxation, and he wanted to savor every moment of it.

Hearing Bagoas moan made Hephaestion smile. Alexander had always complimented him with his massage techniques and he was happy to do the same thing for Bagoas now. He hummed softly, trying to follow the music. His hands moved over to Bagoas' upper arms, working on them as well. The tension, which had made Bagoas' muscles knot, was slowly leaving the younger man's body and Hephaestion wondered if he had managed to lure Bagoas back into sleep. Alexander had fallen asleep more than once. "I always loved to see you dance, Bagoas. Has it crossed your mind to take up dancing again?"

Bagoas had been pleasantly dozing, but had not fallen asleep yet. Hephaestion's question took him by surprise, but it felt good that the older man was interested in what he wanted. "I haven't given it much thought yet. I might." He couldn't remember ever feeling so relaxed. Hephaestion's promise that nothing sexual was required on his part allowed him to let down his guard.

Another moan fled his lips when Hephaestion moved on to massaging his legs. Feeling the strong fingers slide along his calves was pure bliss and Bagoas completely surrendered to the wonderful feeling. Just when he was about to fall asleep Hephaestion's voice woke him.

"Could you please turn around so I can do your front?"

"My front?" Bagoas' eyes opened and he was instantly awake. Hephaestion wanted to do his front? No!

"What's wrong?" Hephaestion had a pretty good idea what was upsetting Bagoas, but didn't address the matter yet. "I need to do your front as well."

"That isn't necessary," Bagoas mumbled, feeling embarrassed. He couldn't roll onto his back right now!

"I should. You are growing tense again."

"That is because I don't want you to do my front." There! He had said it!

"And why is that, Bagoas?" Hephaestion now opted for the direct approach. "Did that massage make you feel good, Bagoas? Is that why you don't want to turn around?"

Bagoas tried to hide his face between the pillows. He had so hoped Hephaestion wouldn't address this!

"It is okay to be aroused, Bagoas. There is nothing wrong with being relaxed and feeling good. Now turn around for me. You know you can trust me. I won't touch you intimately if you don't want me to."

"Hephaestion, I…" Bagoas lifted his head and gave Hephaestion a pleading look. "I feel ashamed."

Hephaestion curled an arm around Bagoas' waist and pulled him into an upright position. "Does the fact that you are naked make you feel uncomfortable?"

"It shouldn't. I know it is stupid. I have been naked with men too many times to count." Bagoas lacked the courage to look Hephaestion in the eye.

"But I am not 'men', Bagoas." Hephaestion smiled, reassuringly, and raised his hand to caress Bagoas' face. "Just lie down, my precious Bagoas."

"Precious?" Had Hephaestion really called him that? Hearing that tone and seeing the expression in those sky-blue eyes made Bagoas give in and he lay down on his back. Hephaestion hovered above him and added more massage oil to his hands. "Do you know who you remind me of, Hephaestion?" He sucked in his breath in surprise the moment Hephaestion placed his hands upon his shoulders, starting the massage all over again.

"No, tell me." Hephaestion kept his touches light, but not too light. He made sure he applied just enough pressure to undo the knots of tense muscles. At first, he didn't really know if Bagoas wanted to maintain eye-contact, but as the dark eyes never left his, he returned the look.

"You remind me of a lion." Bagoas failed to stop himself from raising his hand to caress Hephaestion's face. He was somehow lost, adrift on these wonderful emotions that Hephaestion's massage had evoked. "And your hair… a lion's mane." His fingers tangled in the auburn hair, enjoying the feel of the strands between his fingers. "Have I ever been in love before?"

Hephaestion forced himself to remain calm and in control. The look Bagoas gave him made him feel weak. "You were in love with Alexander, weren't you?"

Bagoas absentmindedly nodded his head once. Hephaestion's hands now traveled lower and rubbed his abdominal muscles. Those large, talented, powerful hands were only inches away from his arousal and Bagoas swallowed hard, realizing that he wanted Hephaestion to touch him in *that* way. "What are you doing to me?" He had never wanted to be touched intimately, having learned the hard way that touch often equaled pain. "Why do I want this?"

Hephaestion smiled in understanding. "You want to feel good, do you remember saying that?"

Bagoas nodded again. "I do." He momentarily forgot to breathe as he felt Hephaestion's fingers travel lower still. They now rested on his inner thighs, still massaging, but oh so close to his hard flesh.

"And that is a first for you. No one ever focused on making you feel good, did they?" Hephaestion wanted nothing more than to give Bagoas even more pleasure, but he wouldn't do anything without Bagoas' explicit request. "If you want me to make you feel even better, you only have to say so."

Entranced, Bagoas stared into Hephaestion's loving eyes. "I want that, yes… I want to feel good… My strong, fierce lion…"

Hephaestion's heart melted with love as he heard Bagoas call him that. "I will always be your lion, Bagoas. I will love you and protect you as long as I shall live." Oh, he wanted to touch Bagoas intimately… but did the younger man want that as well?

"I… uh… would you… I would like…" Bagoas stuttered, trying to find the right words. "I want to feel even better."

"Do you want me to touch you? Bring you to orgasm?" Hephaestion watched Bagoas closely. "What do you really want?"

Bagoas' nervousness returned. Could he really tell Hephaestion what he wanted?

Hephaestion leaned in closer and kissed Bagoas' lips. "You know you can tell me."

"I… I want… Would you get me off? Your hand would do…" Bagoas bit his bottom lip. Would Hephaestion truly understand? Or try to penetrate him?

"Your wish is my command, my sweet Bagoas…" Hephaestion gently parted Bagoas' legs so he could kneel in between the long limbs. "I will make you feel good. Just relax…" He slid his hands upwards, rubbing Bagoas' chest and eventually his nipples. He teased the nubs of flesh before sliding his hands toward Bagoas' shoulders and eventually the other man's head. Bagoas was still keeping his head tilted in order to see him, so Hephaestion gently guided the back of Bagoas' head onto the pillow. "Close your eyes and enjoy…"

Bagoas thought he had died and gone to heaven as he felt Hephaestion's warm lips close over the head of his member. The fingers of one hand curled around the base and stroked slowly. The oil added a nice dimension to the stroking and Bagoas quivered over his entire body. Hephaestion's other hand stayed on his chest and moved between his nipples, first pinching one and then rolling the other between his fingertips. Bagoas couldn't help himself and raised his hips in response. Hephaestion increased the pace and intensity of his strokes and sucking motion and Bagoas rested one hand atop of Hephaestion's head, running his fingers through the strands. "My lion… I love you so much…" He didn't last long. Hephaestion's talented tongue and lips pushed him over the edge. "Oh, Hephaestion!"

Hephaestion peeked up at Bagoas' face and found the dark eyes had closed. The expression of bliss on the handsome face was the only reward he needed and he let the twitching flesh slip from his lips just seconds before Bagoas hit orgasm. He wanted to see his lover come… wanted to see the cream erupt from the head. It would prove to him once more that his lover was whole and not a eunuch any more. "I love you too," he whispered, claiming Bagoas' lips.

Bagoas wrapped his arms around Hephaestion's form, desperately clinging to him. Needy moans left his lips and he whipped his hips upward, trying to fuck the air.

Hephaestion cradled Bagoas against his chest and enjoyed watching his lover climax. The warm cream dripped from the head and Hephaestion thanked the gods that Bagoas was fully functional. "Love you," he whispered, kissing Bagoas again.

Bagoas slowly regained his wits and stared at Hephaestion in gratitude and bliss. "No one ever… the way you did that…"

"You don't have to speak." Hephaestion smiled, warmly, rubbing Bagoas' flank. "Just focus on *feeling* your body."

"How about your body?" Bagoas clearly saw the bulge in Hephaestion's jeans. "You are hard as well."

"Don’t worry about that. This is about you, Bagoas."

"No." Bagoas determinedly shook his head. "I want to do this for you."

"Bagoas…" Hephaestion's voice carried a warning, but Bagoas' fingers were already undoing his zipper. "Only your hands, do you understand?" He couldn't take any risks. The last thing he wanted was for Bagoas to overestimate himself and suffer rape flashbacks.

Hearing that actually relieved Bagoas. "I am okay with that. Come, lie down next to me."

Hephaestion had stripped off his jeans and he now eased himself down onto the bed and into Bagoas' arms. Lying on his back, he watched Bagoas raise himself onto his side and then those long, elegant fingers gingerly touched his engorged member. "Are you certain you want to do this? You don't have to."

Bagoas nodded his head once. "Your concern touches me, but I am not made of glass."

"I am just worried." Hephaestion panted softly, feeling Bagoas' nimble fingers curl around his erection.

"Don't be. This makes me feel good as well." Bagoas, propped up on his side, now hovered above Hephaestion, and he leaned in closer to kiss him. "The greatest gift you can give me," Bagoas whispered against Hephaestion's lips, "is to trust yourself to me in turn."

Bagoas' words were Hephaestion's undoing and he surrendered to the caresses. Bagoas' strokes were timed, not too strong, and kept him on the edge for a few protracted minutes. When he finally could take no more, he pleaded with his lover. "Allow me to come… Please."

Bagoas' lips slid down Hephaestion's throat and suckled the skin there. He pumped Hephaestion's cock hard and the older man didn't last long. Hephaestion came with his name on his lips and Bagoas quickly claimed them, taking his name and Hephaestion's breath inside him.

Hephaestion's head reeled from the experience. Bagoas' lips were hot and soft and he returned the kiss, deepening it. Ecstasy coursed through him and, when the waves of bliss finally slowed down, he raised a hand to brush Bagoas' raven hair away from the younger man's face. "Thank you, my love."

Bagoas lay down and snuggled up to Hephaestion. They would have to clean up in a moment, but not yet. "Maybe there is still hope for me."

"Oh, I am sure there is," Hephaestion whispered in post-orgasmic bliss. It was only a matter of time; Bagoas' emotional scars *would* heal.

Part 6

Bagoas seemed to lose some of his bashfulness after receiving that massage. During the rest of the day, he remained close to Hephaestion, assisting the other man with preparing lunch and even doing household chores, like making the beds or doing some vacuuming. Hephaestion's eyes glittered with approval, always finding Bagoas close. Giving the younger man that massage had worked miracles and it had also taken them one step further in building a relationship.

The only fact that surprised Hephaestion was that Bagoas had nicknamed him 'His lion'. That name seemed much more appropriate for Alexander.

In the afternoon, while expecting Alexander's return, Hephaestion and Bagoas went outside to watch the clouds drift by. "Can I ask you something?" Hephaestion smiled at Bagoas, who had lain down with his head on his lap. His fingers automatically moved through the raven strands, relishing their soft feel.

"What do you want to know?" Bagoas still felt somewhat guarded, but only because he was ashamed of his past. He had hoped that Hephaestion wouldn't bring it up now that they were enjoying such a peaceful moment.

"Why do you call me your lion? Why not call Alexander that?"

Bagoas instantly felt reassured. "Alexander always reminds me of a tiger… moving restlessly in his cage, trying to get out. You are not like that. You are always calm and controlled. You have a measure of self-control which Alexander lacks."

Bagoas had made a valid point. Alexander could easily get out of control; that was probably one reason why they worked out so well. Hephaestion was the only one who could really temper Alexander and force him to slow down and think about what he was about to do. Alexander had never listened to anyone else, not even his mother.

"Or does that displease you? Would you rather have that I don't call you that?"

Hephaestion quickly shook his head. "No, that isn't it. I was just wondering." Leaning in closer, he kissed Bagoas' lips. "Alexander should be back any moment now. Maybe you could set the table?" He wanted a moment alone with his Alexander.

Bagoas understood and didn't mind. He was already grateful that he had Hephaestion's love in the first place. He pushed himself to his feet, pressed a kiss onto the crown of Hephaestion's head, and disappeared into the house.

~~~

Hephaestion rose from the grass as he saw Alexander and Peritas approach the house. His lover had a healthy blush on his face and the brown eyes danced with life. Oh, he loved seeing Alexander like that! "Welcome back." He almost threw himself at Alexander, who quickly caught him.

"My, you are eager!" Alexander winked and pressed Hephaestion close. "Miss me?"

"Not really," Hephaestion replied, acting coy. "But I am curious to see what you typed up." He would censure certain scenes if Alexander ever got serious and tried selling his book to a publisher. He wouldn't put it past Alexander that he would try to share his story with the rest of the world. "You promised to let me read."

"I will let you read in a second." Alexander took his time kissing Hephaestion and then reluctantly pulled back to study the blue eyes. "How was your day with Bagoas?"

"I believe we made progress. I gave him one of my massages and…"

"Oh, now I *am* jealous!" Alexander grinned. "Does that mean I will get one as well? You can do my front any time you want."

Hephaestion blinked… and blinked again. Alexander had never been this bold, this… sexually challenging and he wondered if the mood would last.

Alexander sensed some of Hephaestion's puzzlement and shrugged his shoulders. "You said that we are changing. Maybe this is part of the changes I am going through?" Hephaestion was still giving him *that* look and Alexander continued, "I didn't have the time to *really* be your lover our first time around. I was too busy planning conquests. I don't have to do that now. I can focus on you… and Bagoas, of course."

"Don't you miss the battles? The fighting? The adrenaline rushing through your body? You lived for those moments."

Alexander shook his head again. "Oddly enough, I don't. Now the adrenaline rushes through my veins whenever we make love." It was the biggest compliment Alexander could have paid Hephaestion and he wasn't really surprised when tears gathered in the blue depths. "I am so sorry that I wasn't really there for you in our first life. Trust me; I won't make the same mistake again."

Hephaestion rested his head against Alexander's shoulder. "We should go inside. Bagoas is probably eager for you to talk to him and I want my laptop back." He was going to read whatever Alexander had typed up!

~~~

"Ah, my lovely Bagoas! There you are!" Alexander pushed the bag containing the laptop into Hephaestion's hands, and then advanced on Bagoas, who looked at him with large, expectant eyes. He wrapped his arms around the younger man and gave him a passionate kiss on his lips. "How are you today?" He took Bagoas' hand between his and seated himself next to the younger man at the kitchen table.

Hephaestion stopped paying attention to them and concentrated on starting up his laptop. He accessed the file Alexander had created and crossed his fingers, hoping his lover had had the decency not to write anything *that* explicit about their first time.

# I am sitting in the courtyard, trying to adjust the strap of my quiver and the fabric just won't cooperate. It needs a new hole and I am trying to fix that when *he* walks up to me. This boy is a good head taller and possesses the most amazing blue eyes I have ever seen.

"I can help you with that. Give it to me."

"No!" I don't want to give my quiver to him. I can manage myself and I tell him just that. But the boy doesn't relent and grabs it from my hands. That is the moment I get angry with him. I scream at him, using all the words I picked up from the soldiers living in the barracks and his eyes – those eyes! – widen. My cussing shocks him, but my tirade works and I manage to take hold of my quiver again.

"I am sorry. I only want to help."

I nod my head once and sit down again. The other boy follows me down and we work together on adjusting the strap. Having him at my side and assisting me feels right and I steal more than just one look at his eyes.

"Hephaestion! Where are you, boy?" A man appears close to the house and my new companion jumps to his feet as if bitten by a snake.

"That is my father. I need to go."

But those blue eyes tell me he doesn't want to leave. He wants to stay here with me instead, but his father grabs hold of his hand and drags him away.

***

That was the first time Hephaestion and I met, and I will never forget the way I felt, looking into his eyes for the very first time. It felt like coming home. #

Oh, that was not what Hephaestion had expected to read and his throat felt all choked up. The truth was that he had never forgotten their first encounter either. He had tried to convince his father that the Macedonian Prince had enjoyed his company and that they had started to befriend each other, but his father had been adamant and had forbidden him to approach Alexander again.

Alexander had watched Hephaestion from the corner of his eye and now excused himself from Bagoas. "I will be right back."

Bagoas watched Alexander rise from the chair and walk over to Hephaestion until the blond man stood behind his lover, reading from over Hephaestion's shoulder. That scene reminded Bagoas of the past and that their roles had been reversed; back then it had been Hephaestion reading Alexander's letters.

"Ah, you are reading *that*." He should count himself lucky that this was the first thing Hephaestion had read. Maybe it was a bad idea to tell Hephaestion that he had written more snippets – most of them a bit more explicit. "If only your father hadn't been that strict. We could have been friends even then."

Hephaestion nodded his head once. "He did what he thought was right." Hephaestion closed the document and he was about to close the laptop as well when he sighted another new file. "What is this?"

"Uh, I thought I had deleted that." But that wasn't the truth; he never planned on deleting that snippet. He had grown hard writing it and had taken himself into hand while reading that snippet over and over again. "It is of no interest to you."

But Hephaestion knew better than to believe Alexander. "What did you do?" He clicked on the file.

Bagoas carefully made his way over to the couch and wondered if it would be all right for him to read as well. Alexander answered that unspoken question by curling an arm around him and pulling him close so he had no other option than to look at the screen as well.

"I am going to need your support in the next few moments," Alexander whispered to Bagoas, wishing he *had* deleted that file, but it was too late now.

#Babylon is never quiet and the sounds of the city keep me awake. That, and the fact that my lover has finally returned to me. Hephaestion has been away for quite some time and I need him with me so badly that I eagerly dismiss Bagoas, telling him that I will take my own bath. After Bagoas has left, we step onto the balcony, sipping our wine and talking softly. Hephaestion is the only one who confronts me with questions and the doubts that live among my soldiers. I love him for being honest with me. That night, we have an emotional discussion and I am growing desperate to find a way to distract him. The last thing I want to dwell upon when he is so close is my mother.

"Hephaestion, I missed you so much." I start my little campaign to seduce him by uncurling his fingers from around his goblet and placing it aside. I pull him close, loving the masculine scent that invades my nostrils. I practically drool, seeing his bare chest. I can't stop my fingers from caressing his pectorals and they eventually encounter his rock-hard nipples. I delight in twisting and pinching them until Hephaestion is moaning and thrusting against me. Yes, it has been weeks, maybe even months, since we were together and I am hungry for him. "I am going to make you scream tonight." The look he gives me is already hooded with lust and I push the silk fabric from his broad shoulders so I can admire his well-trained body.

My fingers gently caress his scars – scars which he obtained by fighting for me and guarding my back. The fact that he will lay down his life in order to save mine fills me with love and pride and I crush him against my chest. Hephaestion might be the more powerful of the two of us, but I am always the eager one. I always want to possess him, body and soul.

"I missed you so much… I need you so much." I turn him in the embrace and press close. Keeping one arm curled around his waist, I rub my erection against his backside. Oh, Hephaestion is always so willing, so eager to receive me, and I just know I can't hold back any longer. "I need you now."

Hephaestion trembles in my arms and I reach into the pocket of my evening robe, uncovering the oil I brought. Yes, I planned this and I don't mind admitting that. "I want you here and now." Only a moment ago I lashed out at the races we had conquered for mating in public and now I am about to take my sweet Hephaestion here on the balcony. That thought excites me further and I rub myself harder against Hephaestion's body. Oh, the clothes definitely have to go!

I make quick work of getting Hephaestion out of his robes and then my evening robe joins his on the floor. I always feel awed, realizing this man loves me. Hephaestion might not know it himself, but his beauty, his body, and his eyes enslaved me a long time ago. My hands caress his buttocks and I need to take him now… I can't wait any longer.

Guiding his hands onto the balustrade, I stand behind him and part his legs. "It has been so long, Hephaestion." With one hand I rub the oil onto my cock and with the other, I part his buttocks. "I apologize in advance for the way I am going to take you." I don't give him much time to adjust and take myself into hand, positioning myself at the entrance to his body. Ecstasy is only a second away. His warmth, his tight passage, will receive me and then I will know that I have come home at last. I push inside, not caring or considering if he is in any discomfort. I *need* him. Need him now, need to *feel* him.

A gasp leaves Hephaestion's lips and he bows forward, resting his upper body against the balustrade. I inch closer, press my groin against his backside, and look down. He has taken me completely, even without proper preparation. "Oh, yes… I missed this!" He seems to know what I need as he presses back. I take it as a hint that he wants me to continue in whatever way I desire.

I wrap my fingers in his mane, place my other hand against the small of his back, and lose myself in the thrusting motion. He is so warm, so tight, and so welcoming that I almost feel sorry for the brute way I am taking him in. But this is what I need and I *know* he understands that. I ride him hard, using his hair as reins and make mad, unbridled love to him.

The moment of his climax takes me by surprise. His passage contracts around my member and normally, I would stop thrusting, letting those contractions bring to me orgasm, but not today – not yet. I continue to pound into him and he tenses. I know he is in discomfort, but still he allows me to carry on. I love him for understanding me so well.

A few minutes later, I finally reach orgasm. I am buried deep and release my seed inside him, filling him, claiming him. Hephaestion is mine and I am his. That is the way it always was, is, and always will be. I will make amends for riding him that hard. I will whisper sweet words to him, words he always loves to hear and I will hold him close in his sleep.

Hephaestion is my beacon in a stormy sea. I am lost without him. I need him like I need the air to breathe. Without him, I am nothing.#

Hephaestion swallowed hard after reading that entry. "Alexander?" He looked at his lover, trying to figure out just what expression lay in those large, brown eyes.

"I didn't plan to make it that… detailed," Alexander said, trying to find the right words. "I was only trying to describe my feelings. I didn't plan on concentrating on the act itself. It reads like pornography. I should probably change that."

But Hephaestion shook his head. "You were being honest." Hephaestion squeezed Alexander's knee and smiled. "I also remember that night and your passion – the way you claimed me. I loved it, in spite of the discomfort I was in."

Bagoas tried to move away from them, judging this was a private moment, but Alexander refused to let go of him. Bagoas' head spun a little bit, having been privy to an insight in Alexander's thinking and his love for Hephaestion. He had never fully realized just how much Hephaestion had grounded Alexander. Each time Alexander had said that Hephaestion kept him sane, Bagoas, the eunuch, had dismissed that as nonsense. But he knew better now. Hephaestion *had* kept Alexander sane. /That also explains why he lost his mind after Hephaestion died./

Alexander and Hephaestion were two halves that made one whole, and again, Bagoas wondered how he fit in. How could they love him when their love was already complete?

Alexander read those questions and doubts in Bagoas' dark eyes, but he didn't know how to deal with them right now. Like Hephaestion, he believed that they could only prove their love to Bagoas by deeds and not with words alone.

~~~

"When I was surfing earlier I found something interesting." Alexander had obtained Hephaestion's laptop again and gave both men a smug look. "They made a movie about us." Now that he had found the site he was looking for, he shifted the laptop so Hephaestion and Bagoas could watch as well. "Alexander, an Oliver Stone film."

Skeptical, Hephaestion raised an eye brow. "A film?"

"About the *three* of us?" Bagoas frowned. Why would a movie maker include *him*?

"I checked the site out earlier. It appears the movie director tried to stick to the facts and it is playing in a nearby theatre. Driving there would only take us one hour." Alexander gave them his most charming smile. "Please? I would like to see this movie."

"And what if you don't like the way Oliver Stone portrayed you?" Hephaestion felt reluctant, knowing the temper tantrums Alexander could throw. "Did you think of that?"

"I'll behave," Alexander promised and then gave Hephaestion a wink. "You should see the actor they chose to play your part." He clicked a link and a picture of Jared Leto appeared on screen. "What do you think?"

Hephaestion remained a bit skeptical. "He is handsome," he admitted in the end.

"Yes, but his eyes are nowhere as striking as yours." Alexander's gaze now traveled from Hephaestion to Bagoas. "And I know you will just love your counterpart." Another click and the picture changed. "As far as I am concerned they cast your part extremely well."

"Francesco Bosch," Bagoas read, watching the face on the screen. He had to agree with Alexander that they had done well with the casting. "And who plays you?"

"An Irish actor called Colin Farrell." Alexander leaned back into the comfort of the couch. "I am really interested in watching this movie."

Hephaestion and Bagoas exchanged a look. They couldn't really deny Alexander and they knew it. "As far as I am concerned there is only one problem," Hephaestion stated eventually. "Did you take into account that they might still be looking for Bagoas? Can we take the risk of venturing into the city?"

"I thought of that." Deep lines appeared on Alexander's brow. "Bagoas could wear a bandana, cap, or hide in the hood of his coat." Shifting, he added, "I am not sure I want to hide from these criminals, Hephaestion. Maybe we should settle this for once and for all."

Hephaestion groaned. "Knowing you that means you will take your sword and behead them."

"That thought also crossed my mind." Alexander was serious and locked eyes with Hephaestion. "We need to consider Bagoas' future." Looking Bagoas in the eye, he said, "You are still young. You might want to study or travel. I doubt you will want to stay here for the rest of your life."

Bagoas firmly shook his head. "I don't need to travel, Alexander. I have seen most of the world in my first life and I don't need to study either. I only want to remain here – with the two of you."

Hephaestion cocked his head, knowing that Bagoas might change his thinking later, once he was whole and strong again, but what really mattered was what Bagoas wanted right now. "You can stay here as long as you want," he declared. "You hopefully know that we want you here."

Bagoas nodded his head once. He finally understood that.

"Now what about the film? Can I book tickets for tomorrow?" Alexander was about to place an online reservation for tomorrow and only needed to hit send.

"If it means that much to you…" Hephaestion gave in, but still remained worried. He could only hope that Alexander would be pleased with Colin Farrell's acting. If not, seeing Alexander throw a tempter tantrum would not be pretty.

~~~

"Bagoas, could you move a little to the right?" They had watched a movie and had then turned in for the night. Hephaestion was spooned up behind Bagoas and Alexander was trying to get comfortable as well. He rested in front of Bagoas and was face to face with the younger man. "A little more?" The 'problem' was that he was hard. It was almost impossible not to grow aroused now that he had Hephaestion and Bagoas in bed with him. As the three of them were naked, he was trying not to press his erection against Bagoas' hip, not wanting to make the younger man feel uncomfortable.

"Stop squirming! How am I supposed to sleep like this?" Amused, Hephaestion probed Alexander's eyes. "Why don't you simply tell me you are hard?"

Alexander stuttered. "I… Hephaestion… you know why…" He didn't want to upset Bagoas.

Hephaestion shook his head. "Alexander… What do you want?" He had taught Bagoas to tell him his needs and the younger man felt confident enough to do so and now Alexander started to act shy! "What do you need?"

Alexander blinked. "Are you offering?"

Bagoas heard Alexander's breathing sped up. He didn't feel as uncomfortable as he had at the beginning when he had felt like an intruder in their bed and he wondered about Hephaestion's plans.

"What do you want me to offer to you?" Hephaestion kissed Bagoas' neck and whispered, "I love you… Just watch…" He then pushed himself up and crawled over Bagoas, only to collapse again next to Alexander. Rolling onto his side, he waited for Alexander to answer his question.

The sheet had slipped, exposing Alexander's groin to two pair of eyes. "I want you to take me, Hephaestion."

Hephaestion's eyes widened slightly. "Did you plan this? Like you planned my seduction on that balcony?"

"Maybe." Alexander reached for the oil, which he had hidden beneath his pillow and handed it to Hephaestion. "I spent today fantasizing about you and remembering all the times we made love. I have been hard most of the day and I need you to move inside me. Will you do that for me?"

Hephaestion answered that question by rolling Alexander onto his stomach. Making eye contact with Bagoas, he uncapped the vial and let the oil flow down Alexander's cleft. "There doesn't have to be any pain, Bagoas." He coated one finger with the oil and placed it against the twitching opening to Alexander's body. "But you know that, don't you?" His finger disappeared inside and Alexander moaned into the pillows. Hephaestion now grew quiet and concentrated on bringing Alexander pleasure.

After adding more oil, he slid a second finger inside and loosened Alexander's passage further. Once he was satisfied that his lover was ready for him, he coated his cock with more oil and blanketed Alexander's body with his. Pressing Alexander into the mattress, he took aim and penetrated his lover.

Alexander felt delirious now that Hephaestion was pressing him down and sheathing himself. Hephaestion's fingers found his, twined with them, and his lover used them as leverage when he thrust for that first time.

Bagoas almost felt jealous seeing Hephaestion move so gently inside Alexander. Hephaestion's caring nature showed clearly now that the auburn-haired man concentrated on bringing Alexander pleasure instead of taking what he wanted.

Hephaestion continued to press Alexander down and suckled the skin just above his lover's collar bone. At the same time he rotated his hips, brushing Alexander's prostate repeatedly.

"I am about…" Alexander failed to finish his sentence and surrendered to the ecstasy running through him. His cock twitched and the cream dripped onto the sheet.

A first spasm formed around his cock and Hephaestion stopped all movement. Alexander's inner muscles massaged him to orgasm and he grunted, pushing deeper inside Alexander's contracting passage during the moment of his release.

Alexander panted now that he carried the bulk of Hephaestion's weight. Each time Hephaestion made love to him he felt on fire. Each time was different and yet the same in its caring nature.

"I should get off." Hephaestion gathered his strength and managed to roll off of Alexander. Gasping for breath, he stared at the ceiling. Nothing compared to taking Alexander, not even *being* taken by Alexander. "The two of you are wearing me down." He didn't have to keep one lover satisfied, but two!

"Come here." Alexander, having recovered by now, pulled Hephaestion into his arms. "Bagoas?" Alexander inclined his head, indicating Bagoas should spoon behind Hephaestion. Using a corner of the sheet, he cleaned himself up. He didn't want to leave their warm nest and the bathroom tiles were cold at night. "Is everyone comfortable enough to go to sleep?" He hoped he was doing the right thing by ignoring Bagoas – he just tried to do what Hephaestion had told him, namely not to approach Bagoas sexually.

"Com… for…ta…" Hephaestion's voice faded to nothing now that sleep was crawling up on him.

Alexander chuckled, kissing Hephaestion goodnight. "Exhausted, are you?"

Bagoas chuckled as well, but his grin faded, seeing Alexander's puzzled expression.

"Yes?" Alexander asked, curiously.

"We… this afternoon… we… he touched me… and I touched him." Bagoas couldn't remember ever feeling that shy before.

"And you enjoyed that?" Hephaestion's breath moved against his throat and Alexander stroked his beloved's hair.

"I did." Bagoas searched Alexander's eyes. A few days ago he would have lacked the courage to do so. "And you don't mind?"

"I am thrilled that you are warming up to Hephaestion." Alexander drew in a deep breath and smiled at Bagoas. "I hope you will have some sweet dreams, Bagoas."

"I think I will." Bagoas closed his eyes, pressed closer to Hephaestion and wrapped his arms around his lion. Slowly, he drifted off to sleep.

Alexander remained awake the longest. /Hephaestion is right; Bagoas is healing. It won't be long before he will extend his trust to me as well./ He fell asleep with that thought circling in his head and, unsurprisingly, he dreamt of the three of them making love together.

Part 7

"Are we ready to go?" Alexander had already started the car and was now waiting for Hephaestion and Bagoas to join him. Hephaestion had taken Bagoas under his wing, assuring the younger man that no one would recognize him and Alexander was confident his beloved could pull it off.

"Yes, we are." Hephaestion shooed Bagoas out of the house and then locked the door behind them. "Get into the car, Bagoas."

Bagoas made his way over to the car, opened the door, and seated himself in the back seat, allowing Hephaestion to take the passenger's seat. "I look ridiculous!"

Alexander merely grinned. "This way no one will recognize you, I promise." Hephaestion had pulled Bagoas' hair into a pony tail and had hidden the raven hair beneath a baseball cap. Sunglasses completed the outfit. Alexander waited until Hephaestion had put on his seatbelt and then added, "Looks like I can leave my sword at home. Such a pity. I was looking forward to doing some beheading."

Bagoas' eyes widened immensely. "What?"

"It was a joke," Hephaestion said, glaring at Alexander. "But I don't blame you for reacting like that, Bagoas. Getting used to this more… playful… side of Alexander, takes time." Hephaestion had used the word 'playful', but wasn't sure the word was adequate. Alexander was acting most odd.

"I am sure you will get used to it." Alexander steered the car away from their cottage and it wasn't long before they hit the freeway. Getting to the next big city would take them one hour and Alexander switched on the radio, listening to the music playing.

Hephaestion rested his head against the head rest and closed his eyes. Something told him that he was in for quite a ride this evening.

~~~

"Does anyone want a drink before we hit the cinema?" Alexander had sighted a nice, cozy-looking tavern and looked hopefully at his companions. "I am sure they also have tea and coffee." He knew he was extremely talkative, but that was because Bagoas remained nervous and he was trying to ease the younger man's nerves. "You are safe with us. No one will harm you."

Bagoas nodded his head once. He wanted to believe that, but being in town again made him feel cornered. He liked it much better at their cottage.

"I could do with some coffee." Hephaestion had picked up a leaflet which held more detailed information about the movies playing in the theatre. "Do you realize this film lasts three hours? I hope I won't fall asleep."

They seated themselves in the back and Alexander volunteered to fetch their drinks as the tavern was self-service. "Coffee for you." That was no surprise. Hephaestion was a true coffee addict.

"Make that espresso." Hephaestion sighed blissfully, already enjoying the prospect of downing some extra strong coffee.

"All right, espresso it is. And what would you like, Bagoas?"

"Tea please."

Alexander nodded once. "One tea and one espresso coming up." He made his way to the counter, placed his order, paid, and carried the tray back to their table.

"What did you get?" Hephaestion raised the tiny espresso cup and deeply inhaled the strong fragrance while Bagoas blew onto the hot surface of his tea.

"Hot chocolate with whipped cream." Alexander sipped the delicious liquid and leaned back, resting his back against the comfortable chair. "I am such a fortunate man to have the two of you at my side."

Bagoas blushed and lowered his gaze. He still felt shy, hearing Alexander say such a thing.

Hephaestion, on the other hand, just chuckled.

~~~

"I want to sit in the middle," Alexander decreed and made certain Hephaestion sat down at his right and Bagoas at his left.

Hephaestion indulged Alexander and let him have his way. He was still a bit worried about Alexander watching this film. It could bring back unpleasant memories – and not just for Alexander, but for Bagoas as well. *He* should be sitting in the middle, not Alexander. This way he couldn't reach out to both of them.

"Here, hold the popcorn." Alexander placed the bucket-load of popcorn on Hephaestion's lap and handed Bagoas the tray with drinks he had bought. Diet coke… Hephaestion had wanted it that way. Alexander made himself comfortable, grabbed hold of a handful of popcorn, and his drink. Using the straw he sucked the sweet cola into his mouth. "I am going to stay put for three hours."

Bagoas and Hephaestion exchanged a look. Hopefully, the film wouldn't disappoint Alexander.

~~~

Alexander grew eerily quiet during the film, worrying Hephaestion further. Hephaestion sucked in his breath when the movie hit a bit too close to home, especially where Alexander's mother was concerned. Alexander tensed beside him and Hephaestion twined his fingers with his lover's. One look told him that Bagoas had done the same and was also holding Alexander's hand. Leaning in closer, Hephaestion whispered, "Tell me what is on your mind."

Alexander cocked his head and stared at the scene in front of him. It was the eve before the battle and Hephaestion was seeking him out while he prayed to Phobos, the god of fear. "I am thinking how well they cast you, Hephaestion. One look at this actor's eyes tells me that he loves his Alexander. The emotions are all there."

Hephaestion agreed. "Yes, I think Jared Leto did well." But he was more interested in what Alexander was *not* saying. "You don't like the way Colin Farrell portrays you?"

"It is too early to tell." Alexander frowned at the next scene. "Some of the dialogue makes no sense. See? Alexander asks Hephaestion to stay the night and that reply… It makes no sense! I wouldn't have asked you to stay the night. I would just have pulled you inside."

Hephaestion smiled and squeezed Alexander's fingers.

Alexander eagerly nodded his head. "And look at that!" The Alexander on screen pulled Hephaestion close for a hug and then released him. "Not even a kiss! I would never have allowed you to leave without a thorough kiss!"

Hephaestion's smile widened. "I know that, Alexander."

~~~

"Darius was no coward!" Bagoas was surprised to hear himself say those words, but he had served the Great King and to some degree, he had loved him!

Alexander agreed. "I don't like the way that battle was portrayed either, Bagoas."

Hephaestion remained quiet, waiting for the next scene that would annoy Alexander. He had known that watching this movie was a bad idea.

~~~

"I do remember entering Babylon, Hephaestion. It was a glorious day when we set foot inside that city." Alexander smiled, recalling that day in history.

"But I wasn't part of the harem at that point." Bagoas shook his head. "Didn't they know that?"

Alexander, enjoying the sight of Francesco Bosch playing Bagoas, merely sighed. "He has your elegance, Bagoas… and he is quite handsome."

"He is too old to play me!" Bagoas gnashed his teeth.

Alexander realized his mistake. "But he is not as enthralling as you are, my lovely Bagoas."

Alexander's words appeased Bagoas – for now.

"It wasn't Stateira who pleaded for her family's lives," Hephaestion mumbled. "It was her mother."

"I was fond of that old lady," Alexander replied, agreeing with his beloved. A smile suddenly surfaced on his face as he heard 'He is Alexander too'. "Who thought they would remember that?"

"You really did say that, embarrassing me in front of everyone!" Hephaestion locked gazes with Alexander. "But then again, I think that everyone knew about our relationship at that point."

"And they were jealous of you, Hephaestion." Alexander smiled, seeing the movie Alexander look toward his Hephaestion for approval. "See the way he stares at you? I like the fact that he wants you to approve. That is a nice scene."

Hephaestion softly squeezed Alexander's hand. "You were King, Alexander. You needed no one's approval."

"That isn't true. I always sought your approval, Hephaestion."

Deep lines appeared on Hephaestion's brow. Now that he thought about it, Alexander was probably right. He had never realized that before though.

~~~

"Oh, that Jared Leto has a gorgeous body!" Alexander couldn't help but drool at the scene where Jared Leto entered their bedchamber in Babylon wearing nothing more than a hint of green silk.

Hephaestion felt a pang of jealousy. "He is only an actor, Alexander!"

Alexander smirked at Hephaestion. "Does that mean you don't think Colin Farrell is attractive?"
"Not as attractive as you are!" Hephaestion stated firmly.

"Ai…" Alexander's face contorted, seeing Colin Farrell dismissing Bagoas. "They could have given you some lines, Bagoas."

Bagoas agreed to some degree. "But remember that it wasn't my place to speak. You know that. I was taught to be silent."

"But still." Alexander drew in a deep breath. "Some lines would have been nice."

Hephaestion cast a look at Bagoas and wished he *was* sitting in the middle because he wanted to comfort the younger man. "Just remember the way you took care of Alexander. You kept him sane when I couldn't."

Hephaestion's words meant the world to Bagoas. "Thank you."

Alexander, in the meantime, was already discussing the next scene. "Can you believe that? You speak of love and I… I hug you for crying out loud! I hug you! What was the director thinking?"
"Oh, we know what you did on that balcony in Babylon, don't we? We just had the pleasure of reading all about it only yesterday." Hephaestion wiggled an eyebrow. "You delighted in taking me most of the nights we spent in Babylon."

"Yes, I know that, you know that, and now even Bagoas knows that. How can the director *not* know that? It was no secret that we shared a bed!" Alexander was growing irritated by the fact that their counterparts seemed to be limited to hugs. "This isn't right."

/Oh, one temper tantrum coming up,/ Hephaestion thought. He only hoped Alexander would keep his temper in check until after the movie had ended.

~~~

It was Alexander's turn to grow quiet, watching Hephaestion on screen cry while giving Colin a ring. They had never exchanged rings and something about that scene made his eyes water.

"Are you crying?" Alexander was making strange noises and Hephaestion was also having trouble remaining composed as well. So far, this was the scene that was getting the most to him.

"Maybe." Alexander forced back his tears and focused on the movie. "I like this Hephaestion. Jared Leto understands your character."

"Do you think so?" It was Bagoas who answered and not Hephaestion. "I am sorry, but I disagree. Yes, it is obvious he adores Alexander and loves him to death, but…" He cast a look at Hephaestion, who was curiously watching him. "I doubt Hephaestion would have made such a scene."

Hephaestion moistened his lips. "I didn't confront Alexander when he married Roxane that much is true, but I did feel hurt."

Alexander's eyes, revealing concern, focused on Hephaestion's. "Did you cry?"

"In private. Not when I was around you. I didn't want you to see my pain."

"Oh, Hephaestion." Alexander leaned in closer and managed to place a kiss onto Hephaestion's cheek. "Don’t you know I love you?"

Hephaestion tried to speak, but the lump of emotions in his throat made that hard. "Sometimes," he said, "I need to hear you say it."

"I love you, Hephaestion. I love you so much that I followed you down to the House of Death."

Yes, you did." Hephaestion forced himself to smile, but as he cast a look in Alexander's direction he also caught sight of Bagoas' tormented expression. This wasn't easy on Bagoas either.

~~~

"Did you love Roxane?" Hephaestion had never asked Alexander that question before but after watching that explicit sex scene, he had to ask.

"It was nothing like that," Alexander replied as he frowned in disapproval. "There were no weapons and there was little passion. I needed her in order to sire a son and that was it."

Hephaestion decided not to question Alexander further. He hated the way this movie was opening old wounds.

~~~

"Francesco Bosch knows how to move." Alexander couldn't help it; he devoured the dancer's agile body with his eyes. "But he doesn't compare to you, Bagoas."

Bagoas wasn't insulted. He recognized a talented dancer when he saw one. "I am flattered, I guess." He hadn't thought he would have such a big part in the movie. Although he had no lines, the actor knew how to communicate his feelings with his body language and his expression. "They could have given him more depth though." The viewer learned nothing of his personal history, which would have enriched the character.

"Oh…" Alexander shifted excitedly on his chair when the dance came to an end. The dance *had* aroused him, but then… then something bad came back to haunt him. He had tried so hard to make his peace with the way Cleitus had died and now he had to watch it happen all over again. "I didn't want to kill him."

Hephaestion quickly rubbed Alexander's fingers. "The soldiers held an assembly afterwards and decided Cleitus deserved to die. They gave you the permission you needed."

"But it was too late." Alexander looked Hephaestion in the eye. "Normally, judgment is past *before* the sentence is carried out. I simply killed him."

Hephaestion was at a loss for once. He just didn't know how to comfort Alexander. "We can leave if you want."

"No, I want to see the rest as well."

~~~

Alexander watched the scene feeling inwardly torn. He loved the way Jared Leto's hair danced on his shoulders when he forbade Roxane to enter, but at the same time, he remembered how hard it had been on Hephaestion to be the strong one. He had caved in after killing Cleitus and had been catatonic for days.

Hephaestion simply held Alexander's hand throughout that scene and kept quiet. Alexander had probably not realized what watching this film would do to him. He had tried to warn his lover, but Alexander hadn't listened.

Bagoas, watching his counterpart, felt a strange connection to this Francesco Bosch. The actor had so little to work with and yet he managed to portray the love he bore Alexander. Bagoas admired the dancer for portraying him so well. When he had heard that he was also in the movie he had been worried they would make his character into a caricature, but that hadn't happened – thankfully.

~~~

Alexander watched how his army became rebellious, demanding they turned around and returned home. India had been his downfall in many ways. It was also where Hephaestion had contracted typhus. He had been a fool to always want more. He should have listened to his better half instead.

~~~

Alexander knew where they were headed and dreaded having to watch Hephaestion's death scene. Jared Leto played his part extremely convincingly and, at the end of the scene Alexander and Hephaestion were both crying softly. Seeing their counterparts interact, and seeing Hephaestion actually die, released a whole storm of emotions inside them. The only one who seemed unaffected was Bagoas, but that was because he was trying to acknowledge and deal with the mistakes he had made. He vividly remembered his hatred for Hephaestion and now realized he'd had no reason to loathe the older man so much.

"I can't watch this." Alexander felt emotional, seeing his counterpart throw himself at Hephaestion's corpse and cling to it.

Hephaestion wanted to comfort Alexander, but seeing this scene was also bringing back memories for him. He remembered the pain he had been in -- the emotional and physical pain.

"It wasn't like that," Alexander declared unexpectedly. "I didn't leave your room in order to confront Roxane after you died."

Bagoas nodded once. "You clung to Hephaestion's corpse for a long time. Crateros and the others had to pry your fingers loose."

"I am so sorry I died on you." Hephaestion knew he was apologizing for something that was out of his control, but he still regretted leaving Alexander behind. "I tried to fight, but my body just stopped functioning."

Alexander brought Hephaestion's hand close to his lips and pressed an urgent kiss on its back. "Just don't ever leave me again."

Hephaestion was afraid to make that promise, knowing that one day death would claim them.

~~~

"Was it really that bad?" Hephaestion whispered his question, seeing the deterioration of Alexander on screen. "Did you really turn to drinking?"

"Sometimes I did," admitted Alexander, "but not to such a degree. I still had a kingdom to rule." A deep sigh left his lips. "It is true though. I still heard your voice and I saw your face. Not even Bagoas could soothe me when the nightmares were upon me and he tried. He tried to love me."

Bagoas closed his eyes, remembering those horrific days. "But he wouldn't listen to me. He only wanted to join you, Hephaestion."

"And you did." Hephaestion recalled Alexander's admission that he had drunk poison. While Colin Farrell died on screen, Hephaestion stared into Alexander's eyes. "I don't know what there is left to say, except I love you."

Alexander didn't watch 'his' death scene and preferred to look at Hephaestion instead. "I kept my promise."

Bagoas' eyes released tears, realizing how deep their love went and for some reason they had chosen to share that love with him. He vowed to never disappoint them, never betray them, and never take them for granted again. Bagoas, the eunuch, had finally grown silent inside his head and a new voice echoed through his thoughts. It was the 'real' Bagoas, the 'new' Bagoas, who had cast off the chains created in the past.

He loved them and that was enough.

~~~

After the movie had ended they returned to the tavern. Hephaestion was surprised when Alexander ordered espresso. "You can drink alcohol, you know. I will drive home."

"I don't want to drink any wine." He had disliked the impression the director had painted of him. He had never been a drunk; had never drunk so much wine that he had passed out.

This time, Hephaestion fetched their drinks and arranged for himself to sit between them. Both Alexander and Bagoas were quiet – too quiet as far as he was concerned. They were brooding and it was up to him to find a way to lift their spirits. "I still think they should have kissed at least once."

That statement drew Alexander's attention and he forced his dark thoughts into a corner of his mind. He managed a smile and replied, "They should have had sex upon that balcony like we did."

"Maybe you could perform the dance from the movie for us, Bagoas? You should be agile enough to bend those ways." Hephaestion knew he was doing the right thing when Bagoas smiled at him in mock shock.

"You liked that dance? I can do better."

"Of course you can." Hephaestion petted Bagoas' hand.

"The only one they miscast was Cassander. He was not that good looking." Alexander sipped his coffee.

"But just as nasty," Hephaestion added.

"I still think they should have had sex upon that balcony! I am going to write Oliver Stone a letter and tell him exactly what we did and how we did it!"

"Oh no," Hephaestion replied quickly, trying to talk some sense in to Alexander. "You are not sending him that pornographic snippet!"

"Why not?" Alexander gave Hephaestion his most innocent look. "You think they should have kissed as well!"

"A kiss would have been nice. I don't think Jared Leto would have minded." Hephaestion grinned, smugly. He was most satisfied with the way the actor had handled his character.

Alexander thought it best not to mention that he wouldn't have minded kissing Jared Leto. He would gladly have taken Colin Farrell's place during that balcony scene and then Jared Leto wouldn't have gotten away so easily. He would have shown Jared Leto what it was like to be claimed by a King. But he should probably keep that information to himself. That would be his little fantasy.

Part 8

In the end, it was Alexander driving them home. Although Hephaestion had offered to do so, Alexander had declined the offer. He had studied his beloved in the tavern and an unfathomable expression had haunted the normally calm eyes. Hephaestion was more upset than he was letting on and Alexander wondered why. Asking that question would wait until they got home and had some privacy.

Bagoas' reactions had also surprised him. The younger man had told them that Francesco Bosch's acting had pleased him and that he might even take up dancing again. Alexander had expected him to be upset, considering Bagoas had lived through both their deaths two millennia ago. First, he had seen Hephaestion die and then Alexander, but nothing like that had happened. Bagoas seemed relaxed, even happy.

And how did he feel himself? The film had opened old wounds, but he had quickly suppressed those memories, especially the ones about his mother, father, and Cleitus. Something told him it wasn't that easy for Hephaestion to do the same.

Overall, he had approved of the movie. The director had tried to give a fair and above all realistic impression of his life, not letting out the shameful things he had done. It had been a well-balanced film.

Bagoas wondered why the other two men remained quiet. Alexander had even put on the radio to drive away the silence. His controlled reaction to the film surprised himself as well. He had expected to feel 'deeper' about certain events in the past, but the film had exorcised some of his demons instead. He had been a pebble in the wind and had been blown first one way – to Darius – and then the other – to Alexander. He had never had much influence in the past: not on Alexander's actions nor Hephaestion's. Realizing that had given him peace of mind and certain aspects of his personality had shifted, strengthening him. For the first time in both his lives he felt alive, empowered, and like he belonged. He had found a home with Alexander and Hephaestion.

Hephaestion… For some reason he worried about his lion. The blue eyes looked sullen, like Hephaestion was troubled and he hoped he would get a chance to be there for the older man like Hephaestion had been there for him.

~~~

"What's wrong, Hephaestion?" Alexander seated himself on their bed. Oddly enough, Hephaestion had headed straight to their bedroom instead of the couch in their living room. The eyes that looked up at him were still troubled. "Please tell me."

Bagoas, who had planned on comforting Hephaestion as well, froze in the doorway. Did he have the right to infringe on their privacy now that Alexander was already at Hephaestion's side?

But Hephaestion raised a hand and gestured for Bagoas to approach. Bagoas complied and knelt on the floor, in between Hephaestion's legs. Like he had done millennia ago, he rested his head on Hephaestion's knee and allowed the older man to pet his hair. The only difference with the past was that it was Hephaestion petting his hair and not Alexander.

"Hephaestion?" Alexander tried again. This time he placed the palm of his hand against Hephaestion's face and he rubbed the skin. "Why won't you tell me what is wrong?"

"It is nothing really," Hephaestion answered eventually, still stroking Bagoas' hair and rubbing his face against Alexander's hand. "I just realized that my death first triggered yours, Alexander, and then Bagoas'. If I hadn't died…"

"Didn't we already talk about this?" Alexander drew in a deep breath. "If anyone is to blame it is me for dragging you into India with me."

But Hephaestion's depressed mood continued and his soulful eyes looked at Bagoas' raven hair. There were no words to describe what he felt and he was afraid to hint at what he really needed, knowing that Bagoas wasn't ready yet to give him that.

As if reading Hephaestion's thoughts, Bagoas suddenly lifted his head and looked into the misty eyes. Hephaestion had never been good at hiding his emotions and Bagoas saw the raw need in them. Oddly enough, he felt comfortable with the prospect of making love with Hephaestion. He hadn't thought he would.

Bagoas took the lead and unbuttoned Hephaestion's shirt. Seeing Alexander's puzzled look, he voiced his thoughts, enlightening both men. "You always were the strong one, Hephaestion. You supported Alexander in your first life, and ever since the three of us met, you have been putting my needs first. Tonight, that will be different. Tonight, Alexander and I will put you first. You don't have to be the strong one any longer. You can let go, Hephaestion."

Alexander finally understood and nodded his head. "Bagoas is right, my beloved Hephaestion." The startled look that Hephaestion gave him showed him how unexpected this was for his beloved. Hephaestion had never expected them to work out why he felt depressed. "Why don't you lie down?" Alexander guided Hephaestion onto his back and let Bagoas remove the shirt. He didn't know just how far Bagoas was able to go and he was determined to allow Bagoas to make his own call. If the younger man began to feel uncomfortable, he wanted Bagoas to stop.

Bagoas felt no doubt, no fear, and no questions. He slid his fingers below the fabric of the shirt and pushed the fabric aside, baring Hephaestion's impressive chest to him. He moved onto the bed, knelt next to Hephaestion's trembling form, and leaned in closer to press a kiss onto Hephaestion's sternum. His elegant hands caressed the flat abdomen and eventually moved higher, gently caressing the nipples, which were already growing hard. One look to his right told him that Alexander had been busy as well.

Alexander had moved off the bed and had knelt on the floor. Hephaestion's legs still dangled from the bed and Alexander had moved in between them. He undid the zipper and slowly pulled the jeans down Hephaestion's thighs until he could completely remove them. "Still not wearing any underwear, my dear Hephaestion?" Hephaestion was hard and Alexander gave his lover a wicked smile.

"I must have forgotten to put some on…" Hephaestion's breath came in short gasps; Alexander and Bagoas moved like predators, ready to eat and devour him and that thought made him quiver with passion. Their actions were unexpected, but certainly not unwelcome. Having both his lovers tend to his needs was a dream come true. "What are you going to do?"

Bagoas removed the elastic in his hair and the strands tumbled down his shoulders. The shirt was next to go and he briefly had to leave the bed in order to remove his jeans and underwear. Crawling back onto the bed, he moved toward Hephaestion on all fours and then straddled the older man.

Shocked, Hephaestion stared at the now naked man. "But Bagoas…" He didn't want Bagoas to do anything that would cause him emotional pain!

"You worry too much about me," Bagoas murmured as he rubbed his lower body against Hephaestion's groin. "Contrary to what you think I am not made of glass." Expressing himself in this sexual way made him feel free and empowered; after all, he *was* in control here. He bowed his head to lick Hephaestion's abdomen and his long hair teased Hephaestion's nipples, making his lover squirm and pant heavily.

Alexander had used that moment to remove his clothes as well. He didn't know what Bagoas had in mind for Hephaestion, but he wanted to be ready to be there for Hephaestion in whatever way his beloved needed him. Ignoring the burning heat in his groin, he returned to his kneeling position between Hephaestion's legs and ran his fingertips along his beloved's powerful inner thighs. The legs parted further and Alexander drew in a deep breath before nuzzling his lover's scrotum. He pushed his nose against the velvet pouch and inhaled Hephaestion's musky scent.

"Oh…" Hephaestion's fingers clawed at the sheet. He had never expected them to team up and to drive him out of his mind. The fact that Bagoas' fingers twisted a nipple and that those lips closed over the other hard nub of flesh was almost enough to make him come. He managed to control himself, but then Alexander's tongue lashed out and curled around his cock, licking and teasing his erection. "I am…" He wanted to warn them, wanted to tell them that they were going too fast and that he was about to come, but when Alexander sucked on the head of his member, his orgasm was ripped from him and seed erupted from the head.

Alexander gave Bagoas a wondering look. The raven-haired man seemed please that Hephaestion had come, but Alexander had no idea why.

Bagoas then leaned in closer and whispered into Alexander's ear. "That way he will last longer."

Alexander blinked. "You actually planned this?"

"Guilty," Bagoas admitted, returning to running his hands down Hephaestion's abdomen. "Hephaestion?" Hooded eyes met his and Bagoas smiled seductively. "You taught me to tell you what I need. Now, I think I know what you need, but I want you to tell me at any rate. How do you want us?"

"Bagoas, you don't have to do this." Hephaestion's body still trembled with ecstasy, and yes, he wanted more, but not at Bagoas' expense.

"I want this." Bagoas, still straddling Hephaestion's waist, leaned in closer and rested his upper body atop his lover's. He placed his hands on either side of Hephaestion's head and kissed the quivering bottom lip. "Now tell me what you want." It was true; he wanted to make love with Hephaestion.

"I want to feel someone inside of me and…" Hephaestion blushed. "I don't know what I want… What I need." And to some extent that was true. "You decide," he said, probing Bagoas' eyes. Something told him his younger lover understood his needs better than he did.

"All right," Bagoas whispered, considering his options. "I will be right back, my lion." He planted a firm kiss on Hephaestion's lips and then raised himself. Hephaestion moaned at feeling him move away, but Bagoas had to talk to Alexander.

Alexander felt proud, realizing Bagoas had assumed control. The younger man seemed to have found a way to deal with his fears and insecurities. A moment later, Bagoas' lips almost touched his ear and he listened to his younger lover's whispers. The smile that started on his lips quickly spread over his entire face and reached his eyes. Yes, he definitely agreed with Bagoas' plan.

Hephaestion watched them. Not knowing what they were going to do excited him and made him grow erect again. Bagoas had been right; he would last longer this way. But what were their plans for him?

"Roll onto your side, my beloved Hephaestion." Alexander climbed on the bed and stretched out. He rolled Hephaestion onto his side until they were face to face with each other. "Bagoas is right, you know. You are always the strong one. It is about time you let go for a little while." He curled his arms around Hephaestion and kissed his beloved deeply.

At the same time, Bagoas had managed to locate the lubricant and he settled behind Hephaestion. He was acting on instinct here and that instinct told him to put Hephaestion at the center of their ministrations. Hephaestion had also told him that he wanted to be taken and Bagoas suspected that it would be best if Hephaestion took Alexander in turn. /I am not ready yet to be intimate with Alexander, but I want to make love to Hephaestion./ And so his decision was made to claim Hephaestion. Never in either of his lives had he ever imagined himself in this position.

Hephaestion finally realized Bagoas' intentions. His stomach twisted with excitement and his erection moved against Alexander's. "I love the two of you."

"We know you do." Alexander saw Bagoas' coat his erection with the lubricant and realized this was the first time he saw the former eunuch in that position. In the past, Bagoas had always been on the bottom.

Hephaestion blinked, feeling slick, hard flesh press against his backside. "Oh… yes…" The fact that Bagoas was going to take him made it even more special. He knew how hard taking this step had to be on his younger lover.

"How do you want me?" Bagoas moved closer to Hephaestion's body, guided the top leg onto Alexander's thigh and parted the older man's buttocks. "Slowly? Fast? Deep? Shallow?"

"Slowly at first…" Hephaestion brutally claimed Alexander's lips at the moment of penetration. Bagoas was bigger than he had thought and adjusting to the growing bulk inside him took time. Taking care not to breathe too deeply, Hephaestion forced his body to relax and to receive the growing length inside him.

This was new to Bagoas and he hoped he was doing everything right. He felt nervous and excited, being inside Hephaestion's body, and the sensation was almost enough to drive him out of his mind with pleasure. Once he had sheathed himself completely, he became motionless and wrapped his arms around Hephaestion. "I am only able to do this because of your love, Hephaestion. You healed my wounds and took away my fears. I am whole again thanks to you."

Tears appeared in Hephaestion's eyes, hearing those words. "I tried my best…"

Alexander judged the time had come to complete the circle and reached for the lubricant. "Are you ready for more, Hephaestion?"

Dazed, Hephaestion felt Alexander rub lubricant onto his twitching cock. "What are you doing?"

Alexander smiled wickedly and then turned onto his side, facing away from Hephaestion. Little by little he began to push back until Hephaestion's cock pressed against the entrance to his body. "Come on, Hephaestion, you *have* done this before!" He pulled his knees close to his chest and relaxed in anticipation of what was to come.

Hephaestion couldn't move about that much as he didn't want Bagoas' member to accidentally slide out of his body. He placed his hands on Alexander's hips and pulled him closer, literally pulling his lover onto his hard flesh.

A soft, eager sigh left Alexander's lips, feeling his lover slide home. He pressed back and Hephaestion managed to slide in the rest of the way. His beloved Hephaestion was now firmly buried inside him.

Realizing it was up to him to start their love making, Bagoas carried out his first thrust. Being inside Hephaestion and feeling that warm, tight glove around his member felt like heaven. He might grow used to being inside Hephaestion's body!

Bagoas' thrust caused Hephaestion to move inside Alexander, making the blond man whimper with pleasure.

"More, Bagoas… More!" Alexander had seldom felt this helpless before. He couldn't control their lovemaking or the speed of Bagoas' thrusts. It was up to Bagoas to make them come.

Bagoas complied and thrust again… and again.

Hephaestion bit his bottom lip. Bagoas' thrusts had been shallow and slow at first, but now his lover was picking up speed and penetrating him deeper. The tip of Bagoas' member rubbed forcefully against his prostate and he slammed into Alexander in turn, unable to keep back.

Alexander surrendered to the thrusting motion and accepted Hephaestion's deep strokes inside him. "I won't last long," he whispered in between thrusts. Hephaestion rubbed his sweet spot with each stroke and was already pushing him over the edge.

Alexander came first. He didn't even need to touch himself in order to reach climax. Hephaestion's deep thrusts had him whimpering and cream erupted from the head, dripping onto the sheet.

Alexander's orgasm triggered Hephaestion's, who was caught between his two lovers. He didn't want to come yet as Bagoas was still moving inside him, but feeling Alexander's inner muscles contract around him were his undoing, and he came hard, biting down in Alexander's shoulder until he drew droplets of blood.

Bagoas had never felt anything like it before and his eyes widened as he experienced the involuntary contractions around his member. He had never known it would feel like this and he stilled his movements, wanting to savor this incredible sensation. Coming inside Hephaestion was a divine experience and he wished this moment in time would never stop.

They lay panting for long minutes, unwilling to withdraw from their lovers' bodies just yet. In the end, it was Alexander who moved first. Hephaestion's softened member had slipped from his slick passage and Alexander slowly turned onto his other side. He kissed Hephaestion and smiled, sated.

Bagoas didn't want to leave Hephaestion's body, but his lax member no longer enabled him to stay inside and he whimpered when he stopped feeling connected to Hephaestion.

Hephaestion in turn, moved onto his back, opened his arms, and pulled his lovers close. "Thank you. That was an amazing gift."

Bagoas rested his head on Hephaestion's heaving chest and met Alexander's conspiring gaze. His plan had worked out well.

"I am especially proud of you, Bagoas, to have taken this step." Hephaestion kissed the crown of Bagoas' raven head.

"Taking that step was surprisingly easy," Bagoas admitted, tilting his head so he could look into Hephaestion's clouded eyes. The pupils had dilated and Hephaestion's eyes shone with an inner light he had never seen before. "I would like things to continue like this." His gaze traveled from Hephaestion to Alexander. "In time I will be ready to…"

"There is no rush," Alexander said, cutting Bagoas short. He raised a hand and stroked the raven hair. "I love you unconditionally, don't you know that?" He inched a little closer and kissed Bagoas. "We have all the time in the world."

Hephaestion released a deep sigh, thanking the gods that they had stayed clear of the mistakes they had made in their first life. /We are finally together – the three of us and I want it to always stay this way./ Hephaestion then whispered, "I promise that I will find the two of you in our next life as well. I shall love you forever."

Bagoas and Alexander smiled at each other. Yes, a strong connection had been formed between the three of them and there was no doubt in their minds whatsoever that they *would* find each other in the next life.

The end